Tuesday, September 29, 2009

My Ding A Ling

My Ding A Ling, do you remember that song? What literary genius penned that?

Oh, wait. Through the magic of Mr. Google, it was. . .

CHUCK BERRY!

When I was a kid we had a cassette tape (jump into the way back machine). . .

I believe it was on a Halloween tape because the only other song I remember was Monster Mash - oooo, very scary.

You're "mashing" now aren't you? I can seeeeeee youuuuuuu.

Speaking of scary and being a kid, do you remember when you were too afraid to go into the dark basement? The whistling woods? The stony mountains of Kentucky?

Apparently, there is reason to be afraid of the Kentucky Appellation Mountains. There are nonhuman things that exist up there. Like Bigfoot, hookworm, distilleries.

From what I understand, to this day, you do not want your car to break down in the mountains of Kentucky for fear of getting shot. Those moon shiners are a bunch of paranoid folk. They think everyone who is not one of them (meaning one eye isn't pickin' on Venus, has all their teeth in the front, is clean-shaven, and doesn't smell like an outhouse) is thought to be the cops. Moonshiners have a long history of not liking the cops. Don't they know prohibition ended 76 years ago?

Thankfully, those distilleries existed way back when or my good friend Kitty probably wouldn't be around today. Her grandfather grew up in the mountains. They ran around seeking out the coolest hiding places in their bare feet, catching hookworm.

Ick!

To get rid of worms in the olden days, one would boil down some root to make crack candy. This had nothing to do with the drug, was very bitter, and the "perfect" cure for hookworm.

If it was so bitter, why was it called candy? If I didn't know it and someone gave me something bitter called, "candy," I would have avoided candy all my life. Maybe I'd have been thinner. Perhaps I should go catch me some hookworm.

STOP!

I'd much rather be over weight than to have nasty worms. I think having worms makes you a social pariah - that alone would have KILLED me!

So this "candy" killed the worms, but then they had to be expelled from their bodies. As if having worms wasn't gross enough, you had to sh*t out dead worms for about a week!

For all those years of seeking out the best hiding places, Kitty's grandfather thought he had found the perfect spot for his distillery. But alas, the cops caught up with him, and gave him a choice: go to jail or go to war. He chose war, met Kitty's grandmother in Italy, got married and the rest is history.

And history is passed down through the generations via stories. And who hasn't met an old person with stories to tell? Kitty's grandfather had a lot of stories of the Kentucky mountains. One of the favorites was about

BIGFOOT

I know most people don't think Bigfoot exists, but we have proof living right down the street from us.

I had no idea, but while we're playing Bunco, someone noticed skis by Ginny's the front door. I know it's chilly, but it isn't even close to ski season. And there is only the "King of the Mountain" sized hill in Pleasantville so down hill skiing isn't an option.

You'd be hard pressed to even try cross country skiing in Pleasantville. We live in one of those areas of the country that gets snow over night and is completely melted by mid morning. Anything greater than a dusting here causes the big city next door to go into a tailspin.

We're expecting an inch of snow?!?! Close the schools! Stop at the store for milk, eggs & bread! Bring in the firewood! Order up the National Guard!

Then when the "storm" passes to the south or north of us (which happens more often than not), there is just a little b*tching at the weather men. But as soon as they say there's another one coming, we go through the entire process again without question. The Boy Who Cried Wolf would have a field day here!

Anywho, turns out those weren't skis.

My friend's husband has the biggest feet I've ever seen. Well, I actually never seen his feet, but his shoes were by the front door.

Size 15

Where do you buy ginormous shoes like that?

And it's not like it was just a put on to fake people out. If he stuffed tissue paper into the toes, I'm sure Ginny would have noticed by now. You know what they say about the relationship between the size of a man's feet and well, other parts. There is no faking it. With feet that size, Ginny probably doesn't need to fake it either.

I wonder if "the signal" in their house is that Chuck Berry song.

My Ding-A-Ling, My Ding-A-Ling,
won't you play with My Ding-A-Ling
My Ding-A-Ling, My Ding-A-Ling,
won't you play with My Ding-A-Ling

Ginny's not a very big person. I don't know how she doesn't get ripped in two!

Seriously, did she marry the missing link?

I don't know. He doesn't seem that hairy. You know Bigfoot is always depicted as hairy.

I've never paid attention to that aspect and I guess I'll never know.

I'll never be able to look at anything but his gigantic feet from now on.

Silver Lining:
  1. I'm very happy with the ding-a-ling I married.

  2. Take that however you want :)

Saturday, September 26, 2009

I Feel Bloggin' Awesome

I see lots of people ushering in fall by either changing their blog backgrounds, headers or adding some other fall-ish looking stuff. I’m all pink and perky, but not wanting to be the dork who’s behind the trend, I’ve gone ahead and put on my Halloween costume. Blew them spiderwebs right out of my head. Bet you’ve never seen ones in those colors before. (Hey, I’m pink and perky and that ain’t changing anytime soon – you’ll just have to deal with it)

Now that I’ve cleared those out, I'm reminded of something.

Just over a month ago Mrs. Newlywed Giggles gave me an award and I forgot to do a post thanking her.

* head hanging in shame *



It’s so true; you make friends with people you’ve never met. Mrs. Newlywed Giggles (I don't know what she's going to call herself in a few weeks when her anniversary comes up) opens her life (particularly the ups & downs of that first year of marriage) to her readers and over the course of a year I have come to consider her a friend as well.

In the bloggity, blog world we openly (mostly) share our lives and I feel like I’ve gotten to know several of you as well. I’d even hang out with you if you lived nearby. I’m super friendly that way.

Anyway, in order to keep this lovely award, I have to give it away. Now, I consider several of you my friends, but I’m supposed to limit it to five. And I know some of you aren’t into the whole award thing, but I felt you were worthy. Don’t feel obligated to do a post or pass it on. Consider it a gift to you from me :)

For the "Circle of Friends Award", I have chosen:



If you choose to pass the award on, please do the following:
  1. Nominate 5 other bloggers that you feel have become part of your circle of friends in the blogger world

  2. Link back to the person who gave you the award in your blog post, to show your appreciation.

  3. Comment on their blogs to let them know they’ve received the award.



Speaking of Bob, he gave me an award too!



In case you're wondering, that expression means, "I Love Your Bog."

Bob makes me laugh (you know how much I like to do that) with every one of his posts and with every comment he leaves for me. His adventuresome life stories are hysterical - sometimes he sets himself up for an adventure, but it seems that most of the time adventure just has a knack for finding him. Some times I shake my head and think, "It could only happen to Bob."

There are a few bloggers I'd like to share this with as well. Again, don't feel obligated to pass it on if you don't feel like it - I just wanted you to know that I love your blog.

Blogs I love (and you should too so visit them):




Please visit all these bloggers - they're awesome!

Silver lining:
  1. Do I really need one? It's so wonderful to know that my fellow bloggers think of me as worthy of these awards.

  2. I'm grateful for all my readers. What would I do without you?

Friday, September 25, 2009

Fourth Dear So and So Letters

Dear So and So...


Dear Auditors:

Do know how stupid you sound when you ask a question about standard accounting practices? For my readers I won't go into details, but would you ask a store cashier why she is scanning all your items? The answer is obvious, isn't it? Really, with some of your questions, I can't believe you are the one auditing ME. How did you pass the CPA exam?

Baffled,
Pollyanna

Dear Hair:

You better behave today. We have family pictures. Outside. Don't you dare frizz up on me!

Hoping for a good hair day,
Me

Dear Cupie,

How hard is it to take your shoes off and put them where they belong? Or at least put somewhere out in the open so they are easy to find. Taking them off in Mommy & Daddy's bedroom is not acceptable.

Also, that fit you threw this morning claiming that you didn't leave your shoes in Mommy & Daddy's bedroom is not acceptable either. Do you seriously think Daddy or I picked up your shoes and purposely placed them next to one of the nightstands?

I don't think so,
Mommy

Dear Managers of the Target near my workplace,

Please inform your employees that they have the ability to do a price match at the register.

On two different days I asked in the check out line if they could do a price match at the register. Both times I was told I had to do it at Customer Service.

Both times, the customer service representative had to void out my entire receipt to match the prices in a competitors ad. Both times, I was told the cashier should have done the price match at the register.

Annoyed,
Pollyanna

Dear Managers of the Target near my home,

How is it that a store that carries the exact same merchandise as you do in your grocery section is not considered a competitor?

I was at another Target on two different days and spoke to different employees on both days and they priced matched a grocery ad with no hassle.

You really made me mad and I hope you all forgot that I had cheese in the cart after I made you refund me for all the grocery items on my receipt. I hope the cheese went bad and started to smell.

Pissed,
Pollyanna

That’s all I’ve got to say. To see what others are saying, visit Kat at 3 Bedroom Bungalow.

Silver Lining:

  1. At the Target by my workplace I used enough manufacturer coupons & store coupons that I got $60 worth of groceries for around $20 (with the price matching).

  2. Today is the last day the auditors are going to be in the office.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts - Photography Edition

randomtuesday



I’ve totally become consumed by photography. It's something I've enjoyed for a really long time, I just haven't made the time for it.

I borrowed my father-in-law’s nicer camera so I could take pictures at a higher resolution. He’s so cool, I can keep it until he goes on vacation again – he’s just going to use the smaller point-and-shoot.

I took a half day on Friday so I could take pictures of Hot Air Balloons. (Cool stuff coming to Picture This real soon).

I have a light diffusing cube & big ol’ lights on my dining room table.

I opened an ETSY store in an attempt to sell some of my photos. Is that being “full of myself”?

I carry my FIL’s camera, our Fugi Finepix, and a tripod with me everywhere. At the very least they’re in my car.

Hubby had to buy more memory for my laptop because of the amount of pictures I’ve taken recently. I need to seriously get rid of the stuff I wouldn’t sell, put up in my own home, enter in a contest, or use on Picture This. Do you remember the days when you thought about what to take a picture of? Because you had to pay for all the prints. Or carry around a hundred flash cubes.

I never had a camera that needed flash cubes. My first camera was a “Disc” camera. It was pink. Yah, I was cool. *eyes roll*

I feel like a dork putting the Fugi on a tripod in public. It’s a point-and-shoot camera. You’re supposed to point to something and push the button. No set-up required. It takes darn good pictures worthy of using a tripod in low light situations, but I still feel like a dork.

I’ve entered a cutest pet photo contest. Vote for me! All the dogs & cats are getting the votes. I've got a bird and he's really, really cute.

I’m pretty insecure in my photography whenever I’m around other people with nice, expensive cameras. For all I know, their shots are blurry or off in color, but I generally think everyone is better than me.

I hate having to save money to buy a nicer camera of my own. But that’s reality folks. I don’t need it, but the instant gratification in using a credit card is sooooo tempting. No, no, no, no, no! I’ll have to smack my own hand later.

I’m not the only one who is random this Tuesday. If you want to know what other people are babbling about, visit Keely’s place and click on some links there.

Silver lining:
  1. I think I take pretty good pictures. The time, effort & expense may pay off someday. Like when I’m dead. That’s when art becomes valuable, right?

  2. I live in a pretty picturesque town so, in general, I don’t have to travel to take pretty pictures.

  3. I don’t do portraits (even though I know there is more likely to be money in that before I’m dead) so I don’t have to put up with uncooperative, picky people.

Carnies Pictures

The pictures from the carnival were making my page load too slowly. I resized and re-posted them. It should come up just fine now :)

This is an FYI post only - please leave comments on the story itself.

Thanks!

Where Have All The Carnies Gone?

I'll tell you where they are (or were). They were at the Fall Festival at Cupie's school on Friday & Saturday.

We had a lot to do on Saturday - School Festival, Hot Air Balloon Race, Island Luau. Since the festival started early in the morning, we started our day there. That way we'd have time to cram all the other events in later.

We pre-purchased tickets for the games & rides and were able to bypass the ticket booth. We had blue tickets for the rides and purple tickets for all the other stuff.

Whew! We didn't have to wait behind the one other person buying their tickets that morning.

The first thing the girls saw upon arriving at the festival was the petting zoo consisting of goats, chickens, roosters, ducks, sheep & alpacas. They went bonkers over the idea of the farm animals. I don't get this - we live by a farm. They see these types of animals all the time. One cool thing was they got to feed the animals (one purple ticket).

Once we were done with the animals and a thirty second pony ride (four purple tickets), we headed over to the carnival rides - the ones with the carnies.

They had the required carousel, tea cups/barrel ride, something scrambler-ish, a bounce house, swings, and that ride that goes around with seats that alternate going up and down (if that doesn't make sense, there is a picture in a bit).

Both girls saw the swings and made a bee-line for them. The ride was running so there was a wee bit of a wait. Good grief, you would have thought the world was going to end.

When the Carney came over to get the tickets, we were able to read his shirt. Mind you, he woke up that morning, knowing he was going to be working an elementary school festival.



The writing on his shirt, while not readable from this picture, said:

I Get Sh*t-Faced Drunk
How Do You Handle Stress?


How's that for class?

I wonder what's really in that Pepsi bottle.

You will also note the yellow swing seat at the left side of the picture. This was indicative of the condition of all the rides. Rusty and frickin' OLD.

Stinkles howled when the Carney told her she wasn't tall enough to ride the swings - she was only two inches short. Now the world really was going to end!

At least the carousel was height appropriate. It wasn't a fancy carousel. That would have been out of character for the operation posing as a carnival company. There were no horses that went up and down. Nothing went up and down. There weren't even horses. It was fire trucks and motorcycles.

I think she was the only kid on the entire ride. Doesn't surprise me. After about five rotations she was telling us, "I'm ready to get off now." Even a three-year-old was bored with it!

The next ride Cupie chose also had a height requirement taller than Stinkles. There was no howling because Daddy was putting her a different ride already. I gave Cupie a ticket and sent her by herself to Hustler.



So far we have a stressed out, sh*t-faced Carney and a ride called "Hustler". Nice, huh?

When I turned away from Hustler and looked at the ride Stinkles was on, I almost had a heart attack.

One of our friends commented that it looked like it had been around since the Roosevelt era. Hubby said, "Yah, the first one."

It was rusty everywhere. The hydraulics no longer worked so the cars didn't go up and down like they were supposed to. Most of seats didn't have cushions, only a wooden seat. The ones that had cushions were torn and you could see foam peeking out.

Oh, and the lanky Carney (who had three day old stubble and greasy hair) had to push the ride to get it going. Visualize the guys getting the propellers going on old prop planes.



Stinkles didn't understand that the ride would force her body to the outer side of the car and insisted on sitting on the inner side. She was holding on for dear life. At one point I shouted at her, "Just slide to the other side." Hubby then pointed out that sliding across that wooden seat might give her a splinter in her butt.

We're up to a stressed out, sh*t-faced Carney, Hustler ride, and a splintery Roosevelt-era, half functioning ride. Doing good, right?

Our final ride of the day was the bucking bronco ride. Eight purple tickets! Each! Both girls and Hubby wanted to ride it.

On level one, it doesn't move very fast. Cupie was actually a little bored, but watching Stinkles hold on was pretty humorous.




Like that crooked horn?

It was made out of duct tape. The real horns had broken off some time ago.

At one point it fell out and some kid just picked it up and stuck it back in the hole on the side of the bull's head. We didn't realize it was the horn at first. My first thought was that the bull had a realistic pooping feature. Thank goodness, I was wrong.

Hubby got on the bull too.



Ride Indie, ride! He started out at level one - pretty boring. He asked the guy to bump it up to the next level.

It must be a Richter scale type thing. That bull went twice as fast and jerked around violently.

Hubby was down in about 3 seconds.

All this excitement (stress out, sh*t-faced Carney, Hustler in the house, Roosevelt-era prop plane turned carnival ride, and horns optional bucking bronco) in only 2 1/2 hours. Whew, and we were hardly starting our busy day.

Silver lining:
  1. The kids had a good time.

  2. The kids are alive after the perilous rides they were on.

  3. I didn't read about any accidents at the festival so the rides must have held up

  4. The rest of the day, while busy, didn't seem to put the kids in any danger - aside from the burning propane less than five feet from them and the rolling hot air balloon baskets nearly squishing them at the balloon race.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

A Call From Oprah

Mornings.

When Cupie first started school we were organized. We were ready to go early and got to the bus stop in plenty of time (we only live one house from the corner so it’s not that far a trek).

We’re a month into school and we’ve become total slackers.

She almost missed the bus one day. I just happened to open the door and saw the bus pulling away from the stop. The bus driver was gracious enough to stop in front of our house, but I could read her mind (it’s a gift and a curse) and knew we shouldn’t pull that stunt too often.

This morning, the bus was going to arrive at any minute when we realized she didn’t have her “balloon” money. It’s spirit week meaning Homecoming and the Fall Festival were being held this coming weekend. While in separate buildings, the elementary, middle & high school are all on the same campus so Homecoming celebration type stuff filters all the way down to the elementary school.

Anyway, you can send balloons to different students & faculty members for $.50 (what ever happened to the cent key on the keyboard?) each. They had different colors for love, friendship, sunshine of my life, secret admirer, etc. And she was sending balloons to some friends, her teacher, and babysitters. She doesn’t know it, but I ordered two balloons for her too (Love & Sunshine of my life) – I didn’t want her to feel left out :)

It was okay. I figured I’d just run the money up to the school and get on to work.

But first I needed the teacher’s name for my friend Barbie’s daughter. Called her up (even though she’s right around the corner) and got the information. Turns out, she forgot to send Tessy’s balloon money too.

Sure, I’ll take Tessy’s money up there for you.

I was really hoping she had a reason to go up to the school so I could just go to work.

I cruised around the corner. In my car (walking is highly over rated). I left the engine on, knocked on the door once and walked in. Barbie handed me the money and I could have walked out the door at that moment, but did I?

Nope.

Barbie and I are natural chit-chatters. Took me half an hour to go around the corner and pick up an envelope before I was on my way to the school. Did I mention I left the engine running?

Oops.

Let me just say, the school campus is not on my way to work and is out in the sticks.

Literally.

It is surrounded by cornfields on three sides and there is a farm across the street.

It’s 15 minutes one way as long as there aren’t any tractors in front of you.

And there was.

I got to the school just fine, but it took me at least 25 minutes to get back to the turn off to my house.

Not a car or a tractor in site on my way there. On the way back, while behind the tractor there was either a curve or a car coming on a straightaway.

I had to stop for gas. Remember, I left the car running earlier. I never get gas before the light comes on and during all that piddly-fartin' around behind the tractor the light came on.

Stopped to get gas. This would have been uneventful if I hadn’t gotten coffee.

I promptly spilled that on my pants upon getting in the car.

I finally got to work at 10.

A morning like that just leaves you all out of sorts for the entire day. You need a nap in order to re-set things. Unfortunately, my office doesn’t allow that :(

However, it’s a good thing I didn’t give up on the day and leave early.

Oprah called this afternoon!

Well, not Oprah. And it was an e-mail, but it came from her “people” – how cool is that?


Message *
Hi Pollyanna,

I hope you don't mind my reaching out to you -- I'm a producer at The Oprah Winfrey show and we're working on an upcoming show that you may be interested in participating in.

I read the below message you posted on the savvysassymoms website .. that's how I found you. Please give me a call at your earliest convenience (my contact info is below) or let me know when a good time to reach you might be and I will fill you in on what we are working on!

Pollyanna August 27, 2009 at 12:25 pm
I knew from day one that I was not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I work and it’s my eight hours of sanity
I love my girls with all my heart, but I don’t have the patience to play Barbie all day or interest in coming up with all three meals AND snacks every single day.
For these reasons and more, I fully respect the stay at home mom. Some people are better at it than others.
Regardless, the best moms recognize their limitations, admit their failures and celebrate their successes.

I talked to one of Oprah’s producers about being a mom and how I felt about my kids. Too bad I’m not a raving lunatic otherwise I would have been perfect for the show they were working on. Actually, they didn’t tell me what the show was about, but what ever I said didn’t fit the profile they were looking for.

Good news, the gal really liked what I had to say and she was making notes on me.

Who knows, maybe Oprah will want to do a show about mommies who are optimistic fabric searchers some day. COOL!

Silver Lining:

  1. Oprah’s people called me! The fact that I caught their attention floors me.

  2. Oprah’s people called me! (Yes, I wrote that twice. It’s not a typo. It’s just that cool.)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Did You Know . . .

So I follow a blog called Bless This Nest and she's got this really nifty give-away. We'll get to that in a moment.

What intrigued me was the fact that a company contacted her to do a review of their product. And she ended up with two carafes!

I thought to myself, "I like stuff. I like to talk (and write) about stuff. How do I get in on that action?"

So I went to the god of all knowing: Mr. Google. He never, ever, ever steers you wrong. You can get 500 hundred conflicting answers to ANY question. One of those answers is bound to be correct. Most of the time.

Mr. Google came up with several options, one of which I clicked on. That's his nature you know. He doesn't give you the entire answer until you click on one of the options given. Geez, you have to do some work.

So I give PayPerPost my blog URL and they decided I'm only worth a penny per word. I don't really know how they determine that. It could be the standard rate for all I know. But I was a little insulted.

A penny per word?

Then Hubby, piped in.

Honey, have you ever looked at the length of your posts? If they think they're getting a bargain at a penny per word, they are in for a rude awakening.

Didn't feel so bad anymore.

Anyway, now that I'd accepted my penny per word, they wanted me to "claim my blog".

To do this, I had to write a post containing a statement randomly generated by them. After claiming my blog, I could delete the post.

So here it is: Did you know, monkeys have 12 hairs at any one time?

Seriously?

Only twelve hairs? Those must be some incredibly long hairs because every monkey I've ever seen is extremely hairy.

Or is it that they have at least 12 hairs at any one time?

Well, that's pretty duh. Every monkey I've ever seen is extremely hairy (oooo, déjà vu).

This got me to thinking about other "did you know" type stuff.

Courtesy of Mr. Google, did you know:
  • an aphid's reproductive cycle is so rapid, they are born pregnant. That would bite?

  • a crocodile's tongue is attached to the roof of its mouth and can not move it? No wonder the don't announce their arrival right before they grab you and drag you under the water for a not so swift drowning.

  • it is impossible to out swim a shark? Sharks reach speeds of 30 mph when attacking from below. Humans can swim about 2-5 mph. Boats in movies can only move about 20 mph - daaa-dum, daaa-dum, daa-dum, daa-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum.

  • Kermit the frog is left-handed?

  • cows poop 16 times per day?

  • cows produce around 65 pounds of manure a day? Holy shi*t! That's about 4 lbs per poop!

  • a group of goats is called a trip? Gives a whole new (albeit sick) meaning to trippin'.

Anywho, now you know.

Hard to believe this all started out as a post about a give away, isn't it? If you're interested, please stop by Bless This Nest and check out her review of the beautiful "Links Carafe" she's giving away.

Silver lining:
  1. I sure learned a lot today. How about you?

  2. That carafe would sure look nice at my next dinner party. But if I don't win it, it's ok. I had a lot of fun writing this.

Friday, September 11, 2009

The Ham-ectomy

Wow, I’ve been MIA for a week! Nothing like work getting in the way of some good bloggin’ – darn it all to heck!

I’m reaching into the time machine today. I know, I know. I should have lots of goofy, recent stuff to spew about, but this one needs to be told – TODAY.

Twelv-ish years ago I bought a condo, worked full time, and was going to college. Turns out my job didn’t pay enough to afford both a mortgage and tuition. So what did I give up?

Nothing.

I got a part time job at Domino’s. Just pile one more thing on the heap; that would be the logic of a twenty something who apparently had a lot more energy than I do today.

The manager, Steve, hired me on the spot because I wore dressy clothes. Well, I suppose we got along ok too because the “interview” was more a “shoot-the-sh*t” session. He also understood I had a full-time job and college so I could only work a few hours a night, a few nights a week.

This was working really well until he found out my full time employer had a “use it or lose it” policy on vacation. I was basically forced to take a week of vacation. Which Steve interpreted as, “She doesn’t have to go into work the next day, and I need a closer this week so I can schedule Pollyanna to work until 11.”

My hourly rate was going to plummet from a nice $10 - $12 an hour to, like, $6 – Fan-fricking-tastic! For those that don’t know, delivering pizzas is a pretty good gig if you only work the dinner rush. I usually earned around $40 in tips/commissions for only four-ish hours of work PLUS minimum wage (which was only $4-something an hour at the time).

Don’t get me wrong, it is not “easy” money - pizza delivery drivers deserve those tips. As a driver you get your share of stiffs and creeps, and you (and your car) reek of pizza afterward. Not to mention the fact that you were too lazy to get up off your butt and drive somewhere to get your own pizza - give the driver a good tip!

Bottom line: having to work beyond the dinner rush meant there was a lot more standing around the store; thus, a lot less tips per hour to be earned.

Another benefit to working for a pizza delivery place is any mistakes become free dinner to the employees. One of my favorite foods is pizza. For me, this “benefit” was AWESOME!

So while I spent my “vacation” working late for Domino’s one night, a thin crust went thru the oven with peppers, ham & black olives on it. Who in their right mind orders that combo?

NO ONE!

That’s how this abomination of a pizza came to sit on the counter.

It was 10pm.

I was hungry.

Normally, at this time, I’d be at home.

On my couch.

Reading some boring economics text book.

Watching the news.

Eating ice cream right from the tub.

But not this night.

Nope, I was standing in a Domino’s looking at this nasty pizza with a grumble in my belly.

Slowly, I picked up a pizza cutter. An with all my pizza cutting deftness, I guided that pizza cutter around the ham and peppers so I ended up with just a jagged hunk slice of cheese and olives.
Popped that in my mouth and chewed and savored the yummy goodness.

The door flew open and Steve’s wife and brother came sauntering in. Thank goodness, they weren’t real customers.

  1. I had a mouthful of pizza. I think employers frown on talking to customers with a mouth full of anything. Even if it does prove that the food is good enough for the employees to eat so it must be good enough for the general public. Never ever, ever, ever eat someplace where the employees won’t even eat the food. This should be common sense, but hey, it doesn’t hurt to say it.

  2. I didn’t have to stop what I was doing. One tiny piece of pizza was not silencing that rumble.


Steve’s wife went back to the office to talk to him.

Steve’s brother stayed up front with me.

I’d never met him before.

He had kind, brown eyes.

He was dressed in dress pants, button-down shirt and a tie – not a suit, but nice.

He was a little shy, but a warm smile crept out.

He asked what I was doing with the pizza. By this point it looked like something out of a Salvador Dali painting.

I explained my aversion to ham and peppers.

He gently took the pizza cutter from my hand, carefully removed some of the ham, and cut me a generous slice of pizza - this came to be known as the "Ham-ectomy".

Ten years ago today we were married. Remembering this moment never fails to make me smile.

Silver lining:
  1. He is still knows just what to do to make me laugh or, at the very least, smile.

  2. His eyes glitter when he’s excited, darken when he’s concerned, and soften with love.

  3. Some say if they could change some of their past decisions, they would. I would not. If I had done anything differently, I may not have needed that job at Domino’s. If I hadn’t needed that job, I may not have met the love of my life.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Really, Truly Random

randomtuesday



No theme today, just truly random thoughts.

My front bottom teeth form a ridge in the center so they are slightly higher than the rest of my bottom teeth. It’s not a reverse buck tooth thing. It’s just right in the middle. The other end of the front two teeth are at the same level as the others. I know this because I was just running my finger over the top of them. Why was I doing this? Beats me, but now I can’t stop doing it.

I wore sandals today, but because it’s so chilly outside, I turned the heat on in the car and had it blasted on my feet. Why didn’t I wear regular shoes? I just can’t bring myself to put on socks or stockings yet. And because I don’t have any that go with these pants. I don’t know what I wore with them last year, but I don’t have anything now. Guess I’ll have to go shopping.

Speaking of the weather getting colder, it’s happening a lot sooner than usual here. I got to thinking about my kids’ Halloween costumes and how I’m going to have to plan for them to be large enough to fit over the winter parka. Usually, Halloween is cool, but a long sleeve shirt or a sweatshirt did the trick. I’m not so sure about this year. We never thought about it when I was growing up. When you live in the frozen tundra of Wisconsin, it was a given that it was going to be cold. And rainy. You were definitely buying a costume three sizes larger than your clothing size in order to accommodate the layers of tights, long underwear, jeans, turtleneck, sweater, snow pants & parka.

Last night, I figured out, by accident, how to select a specific piece of an image and was able to cut, layer a nifty graphic, & replace it as a new image in PrintShop. I made a kick@ss logo for my father-in-law’s website. Did a fist pump and everything. Don’t you love it when that happens?

Dang light fixtures and shelves got dusted after last week’s random thoughts, but now the laundry is after me. We have two and a half piles (unfolded) of clean laundry, two piles of dirty laundry and an empty laundry hamper thingy. Guess, I should stop making stuff in PrintShop long enough to get that remedied. That’s poop. I’d rather play.

Cupie can read! She started reading short word books (like three words on a page type) at the end of pre-school and we were really proud of her. However, now she is starting to really sound out words with two letters making one sound (sh, th, oo, etc)! Only two and a half weeks into Kindergarten, three naughty notes home & a trip to the principal’s office (not proud of that) and she can really read!!

Now head over to Keely's to see more randomness (is that a word?)

Silver lining:
  1. One of the things on my daughter’s kindergarten homework calendar is some kind of sorting activity. Guess who’s helping with the laundry? Two birds with one stone – that rocks!

  2. I have a pair of pants with no cold weather appropriate footwear. [singing] I’m going to have to go shopping! [stop singing] I wonder if I can work that into one of Cupie’s homework assignments for September.

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