Tuesday, February 23, 2010

It's A System & Only I Have The Decoder Ring

Hubby needed to "get out the door" this morning. Meaning, he needed to leave the house before eight o'clock. He's supposed to be at work by eight o'clock so you can see how the daily leaving the house at 8:15 is becoming a problem.

He is also in charge of getting our four year old, Stinkles, to the daycare.

If he leaves at 7:30, he can drop her off and still skate into the office at 8:10-ish. Which is better than the 8:45-ish he's been meandering in at. Seriously, at a little after eight, at least there are still people at the water cooler sipping on a cuppajoe and discussing last night's Olympics.

Anywho, so I thought he was done getting ready this morning, and I knew Stinkles was still in her nightie. I asked him to go bust a move on her while I finished getting ready.

"I'm still getting myself ready. I was out there [pause] parenting."


He had been trying to explain the difference between a reason and an excuse to our six year old who didn't want to get dressed because the shirt options presented both "made her cold." Which I totally don't get - they were both long sleeved cotton shirts. She wears this kind of stuff everyday and we've never heard the "cold" complaint before. She just didn't like the two shirts that happened to be clean so she was making an excuse not to get dressed.

Continuing his thoughts on "parenting", Hubby proceeded to dig himself a hole.

"You know this subject came up at the last guys night.

I was telling the guys how great it was that you were able to get home in time to babysit the kids so I could meet up with them. Ken (best buddy) pointed out that Barbie says, 'It's babysitting when it's other people's kids. When it's your own kids, it's called parenting.'

Then I said, 'That's woman talk. It's guys night so we're using guy talk. It's babysitting.'"

Why he felt the need to tell me all this, is beyond me.

Honestly, point values guys earn have a shorter half life than Uranium.

When guys earn points (flowers just because, emptying the dishwasher, a back rub, offering to get the kids out of the house, etc), they need to redeem them in short order. Otherwise, they disappear. The points they earn today have expired by tomorrow.

So basically, guys are walking around at ground zero for the better part of the day. It doesn't take much to lose points and dig a hole. And those negative points, they have a shelf life determinable only by the woman assigning the points.

And just so all you guys out there reading this know, there is no definitive point scale. It's all determined by the time of month, how egregious the offending action/statement is, and how many times you've dug the same hole.

He should have just stopped at, "I'm still getting myself ready."

Silver Lining:
  1. Hubby regularly earns points by taking the kids out shopping with him and helping out around the house (when asked, of course - he is still a guy).

  2. In the future, I think Hubby will live by the code, "What happens at guys night, stays at guys night." Lest he end up in the proverbial dog house over and over again because of testostorinic pride.

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