Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Snow Days, Snow Days, Boots & Shov'ling Blows Days

We had a wee bit of snow last week. And it got a little chilly.

Actually, it was more than a wee bit - it was about four inches by our house.

Yes, that’s more than a wee bit for these parts! I don’t want to hear about the four feet of snow you folks up north received. That’s normal for you. For some of you, that well below normal, but I don’t want to get into that right now. I want to talk about my four inches.

Anywho, four inches – at one time – is more than a wee bit for us.

Also, under normal conditions, the snow melts away by the next afternoon. But as I said, it got a little chilly.

As in bone-cold chilly.

As in, when the temperature rises to 17 degrees, you think to yourself, “Huh, it’s kind of nice out.”

As in your boogers momentarily froze your nostrils closed if you tried to suck up the snot that was streaming down your face while you shoveled the sidewalk.

Sorry, that was a little graphic, but dang it, it was cold!

They had to close school because of negative wind-chill temperatures.

The girls were excited because they got to wear the snow boots I bought them this year.

I’ve never bought my kids snow boots before – we really don’t need them. Like I said, the snow usually melts the next day. Even though, aside from being pink, they are ugly, Wal-Mart had snow boots on sale for only $8 so I went ahead and gave in to the begging and pleading.

With their snow boots on, they made tracks everywhere on their way to the car. Never mind that there is only about 15 feet to cover from the front door to the car, I think they made 15 miles of foot prints. I figure I got at least $8 worth of wear out of those boots in just this one wearing.

By the time I rounded up their wild snow trodden feet and wrangled them to car, I had determined that snow s*cks. I come to this conclusion every year, but I usually forget as soon as Easter arrives and the possibility of snow falling has long passed. But this year, that conclusion may stick with me a little while longer.

Why? You ask.

Let me tell you why.

Because I got stuck in a ditch, that’s why.

It was one of those moments. I took my foot off the gas to slow down as I approached a stop sign. I wasn’t going very fast to begin with. When I wasn’t slowing down fast enough, I stepped on the brake. Anti-lock brakes kicked in right away, and the forward motion slowed down.

Unfortunately, the forward motion somehow transferred to a sideways motion. And there was no stopping it.

I swear it was like a movie happening in slow motion. There was nothing I could do except pray that I didn’t hit anything. I somehow missed the electric poles, stop sign, and other misc. signage, cables on the side of the road.

Whew!

I was less than a half mile from my house. In fact, I could still see my house from the ditch. But I couldn’t just walk home.

  • I didn’t have snow boots of my own.

  • The girls were with me in the car. Even with snow boots, I was not going to have them walking on an ice covered road with essentially no shoulder.

  • And it was booger-freezing cold out.

I called Hubby and he was going to come rescue us, but first he had to dig his car out and defrost the windows.


So we sat.

And we sat.

So many nice people stopped to make sure we were ok, had a cell phone, had help coming, etc. A guy in a pick-up with the salt thing-ies on the back and a plow in front stopped to see if we were ok. I was hoping he had a chain or rope to pull us out. He didn’t, but he did offer to give us a push. Another guy in a pick-up pulled up around the same time and helped as well.

They pushed on the front of the car.

I hit the gas.

The wheels just spun. Or they did nothing. I don’t really know because I wasn’t out there. The electronic stability control light kept blinking and one of the guys kept telling me to hit the gas. So I’m guessing the wheels didn’t spin at all – the car just sent zero power to them because it sensed there was no traction.

They pushed on the back of the car.

I hit the gas.

The wheels were spinning or doing nothing again.

That stupid light was blinking at me some more.

Hey, there is a button that says “ESC on/off”.

I pushed it and I took off like a rocket! Who knew I had a rocket booster right there in my little Kia?

Perhaps if I’d hit it earlier, I could have gotten myself out of the ditch.

Oh well, lesson learned.

Silver Lining:
  1. There were several people who stopped and/or slowed down to make sure we were ok. I don’t think there was a single vehicle that just passed us by without concern.

  2. Once we got out of the ditch, we were out on main roads and the snow was generally non-problematic.

  3. It’s finally “warming” up here. Most of the snow should melt by the end of the day as long as the sun stays out. All that will be left are those big piles in parking lots and at street corners. Perhaps I’ll send the girls out in their snow boots to kick them down so they melt faster. How much do you think I could charge for this service? Oh wait, I might run into child labor law issues. Nevermind, we’ll all just have to look at the nasty, dirty gray-colored piles for an extra couple of weeks or so.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Un-Resolutions

Kind of like your un-birthday, but for resolutions.

As in, I can make all the resolutions I want, but I'm never willing to live with the consequences so I'm not sure why I even bother.

For 2010, I Un-Resolve:

  1. to eat healthier.

    Oops, blew that one already.

    I had a pop tart for breakfast. It was a chocolate pop tart so I can't even fudge and say I ate "fruit" for breakfast.

    And those White Cheese Cheez-its that I ate for lunch have no redeeming nutritional value.

    I think I'll round out the day with a Ding-Dong for a snack and hot dogs for dinner.


  2. to exercise daily.

    Well, that just blows.

    Who says that the daily routine of bending over in the laundry room rooting around for a pair of clean matching socks isn't exercise? I totally worked those quads trying to keep my balance. I mean, I didn't even sit down to accomplish this task. And at the end, when I found a pair, I did a great victory pose with both arms up, waving the socks - just like an athlete on a podium. I suppose an athlete would have some flowers instead of socks, but you get the picture.

    On the upside, we have a Wii. And lots of games. I can really work up a sweat flicking a Frisbee. Maybe I can work a little more Wii Resort into my schedule.

    Fine. I'll get out the Just Dance game and pick a song that has a star rating greater than one for effort. If you haven't seen this game yet, check it out here. I've got a mean Elvis impression going on when I'm dancing to "Little Less Conversation". NOT!


  3. to manage my time more wisely.

    That means I have to blog less. That ain't happening!


  4. to clean and organize each room of my house.

    Hmmm, I have four bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, a breakfast room, a dining room, a family room, a kitchen, a mudroom, a basement, and a garage.

    Even if I did one a month, I wouldn't get them all done before the year was up. Besides, if I only cleaned the toilets once a year, people might get grossed out.

    So I'll just give up on this one straight away and stick to my "lick & a promise" philosophy. That means, each room gets a quick once over so it looks good until someone starts pulling out dingy-looking white gloves.


  5. to live more frugally frivolously.

    I had to change it to frivolous in order to make this a true un-resolution. Because living frugally is one I might actually be able to accomplish. Stinkin' money (and lack thereof) keeps getting in the way of me hiring a dietitian/cook, personal trainer, maid, and/or assistant to help me with all my resolutions.

    Hey, I was frugal already today! I ate the foods readily available at my desk instead of heading to the snack machine or using up gas to buy something at a fast-food window. Yay me!


  6. to park in my garage.

    Have I ever mentioned I have had a garage in which to park my car for more than six years?

    Have I ever parked in my garage for more than a day?

    Nope.

    We've been working on a storage wall which is ready for hooks and the like, but now we need money to buy the hooks and shelves. Living more frugally is going to preclude those purchases.

    Although, getting the garage organized will allow us to park in there. Then we won't spend as much on gas when the cars are idling out front in an attempt to defrost the layer of frost off the windows, and warm them up prior to plunking our blubber encased butts in them for the drive to work.

    Too bad blubber wasn't a barter-able commodity - I'd be rich!!


See by un-resolving I'm way ahead of the New Year's Resolution game. While everyone else is getting bummed out because they have failed to keep their resolutions, I am right on target with my un-resolutions.

Silver Lining:
  • Tomorrow is another day. For all the un-resolving I do today, I have a chance to actually do tomorrow.

  • With the right perspective, living a little more frugally is good for the soul. Enjoy what you have and forget about what you don't.

You Like Me!

Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin