Stakeout!

Do you ever feel like you're in a movie?

What kind of movie do you picture yourself in?

Drama, action, comedy?

Me? I'm totally in a dramactionedy.

We've had renters in our old house for two years now - we're on our third family.

We haven't received our November rent payment. They have never been late before so it was a little perturbing.

We've called, sent an e-mail and even wedged a letter in the door jam. But they wouldn't call us back or communicate with us in any way. Really, if something was going on, why wouldn't they at least call us?

Feeling as though we had no choice, we trucked out there hoping to find them at home.

I am not one for confrontation. My heart beats so hard, you can see it Looney Tunes style thrusting in and out of my chest. Big difference though. My heart beats out of fear, not out of love. At least I don't get those big X's over my eyes.

We parked the car across the street and walked up to the door.

I swear the entire neighborhood could hear my heart beating. Like in Poe's The Telltale Heart, the sound just kept getting louder and louder.

Hubby made me do the knocking.

The renter's son answered the door and told us they weren't home, but they should be shortly. We left and got back in our car.

"He is totally calling them right now. What are we going to do?"

I was whispering in my own car. Why, you ask? Here's where the movie part comes in. Because that's what they do in the movies. Anytime there is a plan developing, the actors tend to whisper, a loud whisper, but a whisper no less.

"We're going to move the car around the corner so we can see the house, but where it's not real obvious we're watching. Then, we'll wait and see if they come back."

I moved the car and turned it off. We had a nice view of the house.

Then I noticed the dash lights were still on. What if they could see the glow of the lights; thus, be able to see my face?

I pulled the keys out, but the lights stayed on.

I opened & closed the car door, and the lights on the dash went out, but now the over head light was on.

I clicked the lock button on the remote and the light went out quicker than if I'd just let it fade on its own.

In hind sight, the light issue could have been avoided if I had:

1. just turned the over head light off at the switch


2. realized that someone driving 25 - 30 mph was not going to notice the very faint glow of my dash lights, let alone be able to discern my face.

Anywho, we were safely locked in our car, but not really in stakeout position. I sunk down in my seat, started eating my McDonald's cheeseburger and slurped on a diet Coke. Now, I was in stakeout position.

They finally pulled into the driveway. Can you hear my heart beating??????

We let the garage door close and gave them enough time to get into the house. I went to start up the car, but had to click the unlock door button on the remote AND actually open a door prior to starting the car or we may have had a horn honking debacle on our hands. Nothing like ruining a perfectly good stakeout with a lot of horn honking and lights flashing to announce your position.

To make a long story short, we managed to pull off a stakeout, but we were not able to get our rent. It's still unresolved at this point.

Silver Lining:

1. We managed to keep ourselves out of the news by not being complete landlord *ssholes. We didn't try forcing our way into the house and raising a ruckus in an attempt to collect our rent. That always turns ugly and usually gets you on to shows like COPS. Also, I don't look good in orange.


2. We know they haven't abandoned the property and it doesn't look like that is their intent.

Monk Moves

If you've never seen the show Monk (Tony Shalhoub) on USA, you should really check it out. Monk is a neurotic ex-detective for the San Francisco police department. He notices stuff, puts the pieces together, and neatly solves crimes for the police. His big problem is that he's an obsessive-compulsive with a phobia for everything - from milk to monkeys, charcoal to caves, harmonicas to heights, slime to spiders. It's hysterical the lengths he will go to avoid a phobia.

Anywho, Cupie wanted to play in the basement yesterday. No biggie, the bulk of the "big" toys are down there - kitchen set, humongous Barbie house, etc.

I was busy signing a sale contract for our old house (we still own it, two years after we moved out) when I heard a blood curdling scream. I looked at Hubby who just sat on the couch completely ignoring Cupie's cries. I was busy. He was just sitting on the couch (well, he might have been working on something I asked him to do, but he was closer to the basement door so he totally should have jumped to his feet).

There was a spider!

A big, hairy, fast one!

Getting on a chair wasn't high enough for Cupie. She pulled a total Monk move by climbing up on a table - because the fear of spiders totally trumps the fear of heights.

Silver Lining:

1. Daddy was once again a super hero for killing the spider. For his past heroic acts, click here.


2. For everyone who seen an episode of Monk, this is pretty funny. For anyone who hasn't, sorry if you don't get the post.