Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Game On!

WARNING - May contain graphic content (if you have your mind in the gutter)!!

The 2008 football season is finally over!!!!

I may have been raised in Green Bay, but I am not much of a football fan. That’s a feat all in itself. You are bombarded with football references every day, every place you go. Merchandise is available statewide and business three hours away still use “Packerland” in their names or “Home of the Packers” in their tag lines.

Living in a suburb of Green Bay, the Packers are even more prominent. Players lived in the condos behind our house and went through my check out lane in the local grocery store. My high school colors were even green & gold. For many Wisconsin babies, their first words are, “Green Bay Packers”. I will always be a Packer fan – it’s a requirement; otherwise, I will lose my inheritance. That doesn’t mean I have to actually like the game.

You would think the Superbowl would be the close of the season, but I guess the Probowl has to be held afterward. I suppose no one wants to get hurt in a “for fun” game right before the “BIG” game. We didn’t watch the Probowl because we forgot it was on (after the Superbowl, who thinks of football anymore?), but we did have a Superbowl party.

I was trying to host an impartial party. I made sure I had a balloon bouquet for each team. Each one had a mylar football – the Steelers had black & gold latex; the Cardinals got red & white latex. How gay is that – a football party with balloon bouquets? That was the extent of my decorating specifically for a football game and I had bouquets???? Good grief!

I, the impartial one, also made sure I was wearing a black shirt and a red bracelet. Actually, that just kind of happened but it worked as an example of my impartiality. At one point someone made a comment about taking my shirt off if the Steelers started losing. Sorry guys, I had on a black bra too – I was committed to being impartial. Some people might think I just need to be committed, but that’s a whole other story.

With Kurt Warner’s St. Louis history, I really felt obligated to rooting for the Cardinals. Besides, almost everyone else was rooting for them. Mike was one lone Steelers fan. Fortunately, he had changed his underwear that day. Apparently, he had been red underwear the day before. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to be labeled a flip-flopper or a fair weather fan. Had he been found out, I guess he could have gone with the ‘wardrobe malfunction’ argument. Ah, all was well – he made clothing choices that suited his best interests.

Good times, I must say. Especially, when there is plenty of penetration. That was the word of the night. Honestly, John Madden had to have said it about every frickin’ play. If we had known and made a drinking game of it, we all would have been three sheets to the wind before the end of the first quarter.

“Warner keeps getting caught up in the snapper’s foot. That’s no way to get penetration.”

“That was good penetration there. You see how he plowed right through?”

“Good penetration got Santonio Holmes to the 10 yard-line so he could go for the reach around and get that ball!”

“They need about six inches to get to the goal. Some penetration should accomplish that.”

“You know, Al, what the Cardinals need right now is a play with good penetration that will score them some points.”

It’s that kind of insight that gets John Madden the big bucks. I mean, no kidding, you need a play that will score some points? Is that how this game goes?

I guess if there is penetration, you will score.

Silver lining:
1. While the final score was Steelers 27, Cardinals 23, Hubby won 25 bucks in the office pool.
2. I popped the Steelers balloons and tied them to Mike’s car a few days later – that felt good!

1 People Laughed Along With Me, Won't You?:

Anonymous said...

Heh, sounds like fun...sorry we missed it!

Jake

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