You can call me anything you like, but my name is Veronica

I'm in sales. That requires a lot of face to face time. But it also requires a lot of phone time.

And I'm terrible about using my phone.

It's an inanimate object! But for whatever reason, I hated sitting down and making phone calls.

Until someone suggested that I give it a name and make friends with my phone.

It's so much fun to do things with a friend, right?

Ladies, we go to the bathroom together. We compare our kids' poop together. We shop together. We even get in trouble together.

Friends will come and go.

And so will phones.

I had a pink phone. She was great. She was shiny. She had a little butterfly that floated across the display when I closed her up, a slot for cell phone charms, the right ring tones for all my friends, and she was pink.

I named her Lucille.

Hey, Luuuuuucy! Let's go have some fun.

And I'd make my phone calls. I smiled when it was time to hang with Lucille. It meant I hardly had to think about where to put my fingers to dial each number. It meant I would be making a connection with my customers. It meant I would make a sale.

But one day, Lucille broke.

Her data port died. Trapped inside were all my phone numbers, all the ring tones, all the fun.

Lucille's warranty had run out, but my contract hadn't. I couldn't get a new phone until January!

Well, I could, but I'd have to pay full price. I could get an el-cheapo, but that also meant something boring.

No shine.

No butterflies.

No pink.

I was deeply saddened.

But wait! Hubby to the rescue!

He had a phone that didn't hold enough battery power for him so his office had replaced said phone with a fancy-schmancy touch screen, not-an-I-Phone-but-what-ever-got-as-close-as-possible-on-the-Sprint-network phone.

This phone had a touch screen with a keyboard on it. This was Lucille's one downfall. She only had a number pad so she was no good at texting and didn't have internet.

The phone that wasn't good enough for Hubby, but would rescue me from shelling out money on a phone, would text and have the internet. This was exciting!

Hubby charged up the phone and reset everything so it was a clean slate.

Yay! I had a phone!

The phone was black with silver accents. It had a screen and all these buttons right out there in the open. It didn't flip open, it was just there all the time. If you forgot to turn off the screen when you were on a call, you could do all kinds of things by accident.

Set yourself in airplane mode.

Connect to the internet.

Play Bubble Breaker.

It was kind of sleek.

It needed a name.

It's kind of a guy-ish looking phone.

Ramone.

That rolls off the tongue, "R-r-r-r-ramoooone." Kind of breathy and sexy like.

"R-r-r-r-ramoooone."

Purr for me . . .

Ramone and I could lock ourselves in a room for an hour and have a secret rendezvous. Not really since I'd be calling customers, but anywho. . .

I immediately changed my phone plan so I could text and use the internet. Oooo, we were going to jump into the 21st century!

Life with Ramone sounded exciting!

Unfortunately, that never really happened. Ramone has a disappointing interface, you have to use a stylus with the onscreen keyboard and dialing by only touch is impossible.

Ramone has internet, but I can't connect him to my computer for use as an internet connection.

Ramone and I never developed that lovey-dovey relationship.

But, what's this?

Hubby got a new job?

And a new phone?

And the old fancy-schmancy touch screen, not-an-I-Phone-but-what-ever-got-as-close-as-possible-on-the-Sprint-network, has an actual slide-out keyboard, a user friendly icon interface, and hacked built in computer wi-fi connectivity phone could be mine?

And I can get a pretty, shiny case so it doesn't look like a plain, black guy-ish phone?

Well, folks, meet Veronica!




Silver Lining:

1. She's pretty. She's got some pink. She's got shine. She's all mine!


2. Hubby taught me how to make my own ring tones so I know who's calling me before I look at the phone.


3. I'll still get a pretty hefty loyalty credit in January that I can use toward another phone. But I'm so excited about Veronica, I think I'll just hold on to it in case of an emergency.

Happiness Is . . .

I know I can be annoyingly upbeat. But that's just who I am.

There are a lot of things that make me happy - they would make most people happy.

Like:

• Finding money


• Getting a call from a friend you haven't talked to in awhile


• Sunshine


• A neighbor offering to help with some kind of repair or project


• Hearing that something you did out of pure friendship made another person cry with happiness.


• Hanging out with good friends

Then, there are the oddball things that probably only make me happy.

Such as:

• Having an entire shelf in one kitchen cabinet dedicated solely for the storage of rolls of paper towels.
  
  Yes, I can buy the eight pack of Bounty and not have to stash one or two here, there and everywhere. I have one shelf and that's where all the rolls go. I love it!



• Mechanical pencils.
  
  First of all, they never need to be sharpened. It's just a bummer when the last of the lead falls out and you shake the pencil and hear nothing. I've always got spare lead with me, though.
  
  Second of all, they keep you flexible and neat. No scribble, scrabble here.
  
  Need to change an appointment? No problem, just erase and write it on another date. Honestly, I'm happier changing an appointment if I've written it in pencil because my planner stays neat. I get irritated if I have to make a messy scribble - it looks so unprofessional.



• The days in spring when the temperature is consistently above 65 degrees.
  
  This isn't because I can shed my sweaters and coats. It's not because the trees will bud and flowers will bloom.
  
  No, this is because I can haul out the sandals and ditch the socks until October. Not only do I dislike wearing socks, but it's one less person I have to find socks for in the morning. Yay!



• My bird "cat-calling" me.
  
  It was one of the first "songs" George learned. It's so nice to walk into the room and hear him "Wert Whihrl" at me.
  
  I guess I'm sexy because I talk to him and buy him food. Whatever. I'll take it.



• Shiny pennies.
  
  A shiny penny is like a touch of sunshine in your hand - even on the cloudiest days.



• Watching my children sleep.
  
  Don't get me wrong, I like them when they're awake too (for the most part).
  
  However, they are so angelic with their eyes closed and their lips slightly parted. I love the softness of their breathing and the sense of calm that surrounds them.

I know this is only somewhat random. It's not like it all just spilled out of my head in a rush this morning. But there's really only a very thin thread concerning my weird feeling of happiness so I'm calling it acceptable for Random Tuesday Thoughts.

Many others have random-er, fun thoughts so you should pop in at Keely's place by clicking this magical purple button.

Silver Lining:

1. It's the little things in life that make real and lasting happiness. It's good to remember what they are and thank God for our blessings.


2. I played Bunco last night and didn't write anything on the back of my scorecard. All the girls knew they were "safe" from becoming a blog subject. However, I really feel the need to mention them here (as part of that whole hanging out with friends and happiness thing) and give any of my new readers links to the fun Bunco posts of the past. Click here and enjoy!

PS - Here's another super funny post. It wasn't about Bunco, but it was written based on my "scorecard" notes.

Christmas Is . . .

Wishing everyone the Merriest Christmas ever!

Besides the obvious (and by obvious, I mean the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ, not Santa and presents), what does Christmas mean to me? Well, you all are in luck because I plan to tell you.

Mistletoe. A bell hangs from the bottom of ours. We like to stand under it and ring the bell so someone notices and gives us a kiss. Good thing there is a bell because standing under the mistletoe loudly saying (Will Farrell style), "I'm standing under the mistletoe. The mistletoe has someone standing under it. Hello people, mistletoe stander here." Well, that would just be weird.

Extra days off work. Not that they are really days off. The kids get up at six in the morning because they don't understand the concept of sleeping in on a day off. Then, there is the cooking, shopping, housecleaning, etc. that you feel you must do while on vacation. I don't know anyone who takes time off work and actually loafs around their own house. Most of the time we pay good money to travel someplace in order to act like a bump on a log in the name of being on vacation. Never mind the fact that if you were disciplined enough you could do it at home for FREE!

Risking your dignity in order to get the very last, "I must have it" present. We've all been there. Everyone out there has tried to make a child's dream come true at some point.

Return lines for all those thanks-but-that's-not-what-I-wanted-you-should-have-done-a-gift card items. I really don't like giving gift cards. But forcing someone to stand in line to return an item, get a store credit and have to stand in line to buy what they really want just doesn't seem very Christmas-y. A gift card just expedites the process. I actually like getting a gift card for places I don't normally shop for myself. It forces me to do something for me.

Yuletide carols. What is a yule? I jumped away to look that up (not that you could tell) - apparently, it has something to do with a 12 day hunt that occurred around this time of year in good ole Germany. I wonder if that hunt yielded dancing ladies, drummers drumming, golden rings and a partridge in a pear tree too.



Cupie. The sparkle in her excited eyes rivals any star in the sky. She's a rare creature who will insist you tickle her more which I happily indulge in just to hear her laughter.

Hubby. Without my husband there is no Christmas. Not because he gets me a lot of presents. He is my champion, he is my soul mate. He is the killer of spiders, the disciplinarian of children, the believer in Reagan-omics. God brought Hubby to me, and I accepted His gift with all my heart. There is no Christmas without my husband because there is no Christmas without God.

Ringing bells announcing the beginning of church services. I know they are rung before every service, but on Christmas, they just sound a little richer, bolder, truer.

Iridescent sheen on fancy stuff - clothes, ornaments, napkin rings. Twinkly lights shining through the light layer of snow.

Stinkles. With hair that is a deeper and more beautiful red than any Christmas bow, she has the passionate personality to match. It's that passion I love so much. Her stubborn attitude is the one that insists that she's not tired even though she's falling asleep standing up. And it's the one to force me to set aside the need get out the door for the appointment I'm already late for in order to snuggle for a couple of minutes.

Time with friends. We had a progressive dinner recently. It only took us five or six hours to "have dinner", but it is a highlight each year. Yes, there is A LOT of food. But making the time for conversation, laughter, and enjoying the company you're with is an important part of the feeling of Christmas.

Mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters - family. Then, there is the extended family. And the friends who might as well be family. Wow, the house can get pretty full! Much better than the alternative. May we all be able to spend this time of year with someone.

Astronomical budget bleeding. I can't help it!

Struttin' around in your giant pink bunny suit, or what ever obnoxious article of clothing your weird aunt _____________(insert the name of your choice here)made you this year. It's more fun to strut around like a proud peacock than to sulk in a corner. Have fun with it!

Silver Lining:

1. In a world full of sin, God sent his only child to die for our sins.


2. I don't think we need anything more than that. Merry Christmas everyone!

I Feel Bloggin' Awesome

I see lots of people ushering in fall by either changing their blog backgrounds, headers or adding some other fall-ish looking stuff. I’m all pink and perky, but not wanting to be the dork who’s behind the trend, I’ve gone ahead and put on my Halloween costume. Blew them spiderwebs right out of my head. Bet you’ve never seen ones in those colors before. (Hey, I’m pink and perky and that ain’t changing anytime soon – you’ll just have to deal with it)

Now that I’ve cleared those out, I'm reminded of something.

Just over a month ago Mrs. Newlywed Giggles gave me an award and I forgot to do a post thanking her.

* head hanging in shame *



It’s so true; you make friends with people you’ve never met. Mrs. Newlywed Giggles (I don't know what she's going to call herself in a few weeks when her anniversary comes up) opens her life (particularly the ups & downs of that first year of marriage) to her readers and over the course of a year I have come to consider her a friend as well.

In the bloggity, blog world we openly (mostly) share our lives and I feel like I’ve gotten to know several of you as well. I’d even hang out with you if you lived nearby. I’m super friendly that way.

Anyway, in order to keep this lovely award, I have to give it away. Now, I consider several of you my friends, but I’m supposed to limit it to five. And I know some of you aren’t into the whole award thing, but I felt you were worthy. Don’t feel obligated to do a post or pass it on. Consider it a gift to you from me :)

For the "Circle of Friends Award", I have chosen:

• Kat - 3 Bedroom Bungalow


• Christina - Woolen Mill St. Yarns


• Cherie - CherieZ Recipes


• Stacey - Is There Any Mommy Out There?


• Bob - just kickin' it around

If you choose to pass the award on, please do the following:

1. Nominate 5 other bloggers that you feel have become part of your circle of friends in the blogger world


2. Link back to the person who gave you the award in your blog post, to show your appreciation.


3. Comment on their blogs to let them know they’ve received the award.

Speaking of Bob, he gave me an award too!



In case you're wondering, that expression means, "I Love Your Bog."

Bob makes me laugh (you know how much I like to do that) with every one of his posts and with every comment he leaves for me. His adventuresome life stories are hysterical - sometimes he sets himself up for an adventure, but it seems that most of the time adventure just has a knack for finding him. Some times I shake my head and think, "It could only happen to Bob."

There are a few bloggers I'd like to share this with as well. Again, don't feel obligated to pass it on if you don't feel like it - I just wanted you to know that I love your blog.

Blogs I love (and you should too so visit them):

• Princess Andy - Finding Fairytales


• Sarah - In the Trenches Of Mommyhood


• Sass - Are You Sassified?

Please visit all these bloggers - they're awesome!

Silver lining:

1. Do I really need one? It's so wonderful to know that my fellow bloggers think of me as worthy of these awards.


2. I'm grateful for all my readers. What would I do without you?

Who's On First?

Abbott and Costello are one of the best comedy teams of all time. My favorite bit is “Who’s On First?”

It’s funny because of the confusion and/or mis-communication between the two when discussing a baseball team roster. The roster is:

Position	Name
1st Base	Who
2nd Base	What
3rd Base	I Don’t Know
Short Stop	I Don’t Give A Darn
Left Field	Why
Center Field	Because
Right Field	Costello???
Pitcher	Tomorrow
Catcher	Today

Now, that all makes sense, but you could see how if one person did not know that those were actually the player’s names, they would become more and more confused as the conversation progressed. Here’s just a part of it:

Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?

Abbott: What is on second.

Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.

Abbott: Who's on first.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.

Costello: Now how did I get on third base?

Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.

Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?

Abbott: No. Who's playing first.

Costello: What's on base?

Abbott: What's on second.

Costello: I don't know.

Abbott: He's on third.

Costello: There I go, back on third again! PAUSE

Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.

Abbott: Alright, what do you want to know?

Costello: Now who's playing third base?

Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?

Costello: What am I putting on third.

Abbott: No. What is on second.

Anyway, they make their way through all the players this way – and crack me up! The entire text and audio can be found here.

Now, after that long into, I’ll get to the real story.

There was a float trip this weekend. Just down one of the canals in into the big lake in Pleasantville.

While we were picnicking afterward, we got to talking about how in the olden days (before kids) we would camp for two nights with one of the days completely consuming what should have been a four hour float trip. When you bottom out every twenty feet, take time to eat lunch, don’t use the paddles at all, take time to remove swim trunks, vomit over the side of the raft, and take shelter during a rain storm that you though for sure was going to “blow over”, a four hour float trip takes at least eight hours.

Anywho, now that we have kids, the guys can take them and stop dragging us ladies out into the wilderness.

It’s only the end of August, not too late for a camping trip, right?

Well, maybe it is when you’re talking about five or six families. Here’s how this discussion went (and I’m so not using names because there are just too many – just assume it is never the same two people in a row):

How about next weekend?

No, we’ve got the alley party next weekend.

You guys should do it on the 10th – I’m hosting Bunco and that will get you all out of the house.

We’ve got a wedding that weekend.

What about October 3rd?

That’s the charity golf tournament.

We’ve got a birthday.

The 10th?

I said that and it got nixed already.

No, the 10th of October.

How can the 10th of October be a Saturday? I’ve got Bunco on the 10th of September and it’s always a Saturday.

Doesn’t matter, we’ve got a wedding on the 9th.

Of September?

No, October.

Wait, so what’s the second Saturday in September?

The 12th.

They’ve got a wedding.

Yah, in October, I was talking about September.

No, they’ve got a wedding (pointing to another couple).

Well, the 19th is out, that’s the block party.

I’m calling Thanksgiving.

[crickets chirping]

26th?

Of October?

No, September.

The 10th?

What month?

I don’t know.

THIRD BASE!

Believe it or not, this is the short version. We had to be going on for at least 15 minutes.

I’m not sure we ever set a date for the camping trip.

Silver lining:

1. I’m sure the guys will hammer this out at Guys’ Night.


2. It was a beautiful day for a float trip.


3. It was a great day to just hang out with friends.

And the Oscar Goes to . . .

I have a head full of useless knowledge and fortunately, I have an outlet to relieve the pressure – TRIVIA NIGHT!

After removing the motor from the Christmas tree stand and mounting our homemade Oscar, we deemed ourselves ready for the “Let’s Go to the Movies” theme at Saturday’s trivia night.

Since our table theme was “The Oscars”, we decided to act as though we knew the answers to all the questions regardless of whether or not we actually had the right answer. Turns out, we would have to use our acting skills so often we should have won an Oscar.





Being the “Actors/Actresses” that we were, we should have known everything about the movies, right? We couldn’t be more wrong. In the “Oscar” category, we got a mere seven out of ten correct answers and the majority of the questions were about the 2009 Oscars! Oh, and we had to use a “mulligan” in order to get our score that high. Being the professionals we were, we played it off with fake smiles and golf clapping.

Our next, ‘we’re so awesome, we’re going to fall flat on our faces moment’, came at “Scavenger Hunt” time. This is the game where the MC goes through a list of items and as long as you have the items on your person, you are still in the game.

I was TOTALLY prepared for this. I had brought my pretty evening bag for walking the red carpet, but then I had another purse packed full of crap. This purse was reserved specifically for trivia nights, specifically for this game. I had everything in there:

ATM Receipt, Drycleaners Receipt, Sporting Event Ticket Stub, Pencil, Pen,Eyeglass Case, Teabag (unused), Tape, Metrolink Ticket, Daycare Receipt, $2 Bill, Raffle, Ticket Stubs, Breath Mints, Appointment Card, Cough Medicine, Emory Board, USB Cable, Screwdriver, Whistle, A Piece of Ribbon, A Length of String, Permanent Marker, Highlighter, Toothpaste, Business Card, Movie Ticket Stub, Mustard, Ketchup, Salt, Pepper, Penny, Nickel, Dime, Quarter, Gold Dollar, Deck of Cards, Coupon, Stamps, Lighter, Moist Towelette, Artificial Sweetner, Facial Tissue, Straw, Hand Sanitizer, Dental Floss, Flash Drive, Clothes Pin, Nail Polish, Lip Balm, Band-aide, Cough Drop, Wooden Match, Hair Clip, Tweezers, Candle, Screw, Flashlight, Rubberband, Toothpick, Playing Die, Battery, Hard Candy, Binder Clip, Paper Clip, Nail Clippers, Bobbie Pin, Button, Chuck E Cheese Token, and a Safety Pin.

And I was derailed on Scavenger Hunt item number three – A STICK OF GUM! As we were reviewing the contents of the crap purse prior to leaving, we found a piece of gum that was deteriorating. We threw it in the trash, but forgot to add a new piece to the mix.

In an effort to prevent other tables from benefiting from our brilliance, I brought post-it notes so we could write answers down & pass them around instead of trying to mouth them across the table. It’s a round table and beer was free so the telephone game from one side to the other was not going to yield a positive outcome. From past experience, trying to read lips when there were four of them moving was also a problem as the night wore on.

The post-its were working really well. They were getting needed information over to the secretary (aka answer writer person). See an example below:



Then, we got to a category where we could just throw in the towel (plus a mulligan). This was the “Manly, Yes” category. I don’t know who named the category as I really don’t get the title, but it was about movies guys should know about. Our’s didn’t know much.

One of the questions was “Name the fighter portrayed by Robert DeNiro in the moving Raging Bull.”

A serious comment was uttered, “It’s gotta be a white guy, right?” Well, I don’t know. Is Robert DeNiro white???

We had no use for the post-its in that round so we used them for other things.



At one point we had to unplug Oscar. We were fortunate enough to have a table right near a floor outlet, but it was also right in the middle of the walk-way to the beer stand. While the cord was taped down, people kept knocking the plug out of the outlet. During a more coherent time, we decided everyone’s safety as well as the protection of the cord itself, we should unplug Oscar.

During a less coherent time, I wanted him to light up and turn again. Being the darling husband he is, Hubby yanked up the cord and ran it over to a wall outlet. Mind you, it still ran across a walk way. When a tablemate pointed out someone could trip on the cord, Hubby’s response was, “What? There’s still slack in the line.”

A category, we ladies rocked at was about chick-flicks. Post-it notes were back in the swing and they were a flyin’. To this question, I had a post-it note thrust at me with such authority, I had to go with the written answer.

The question: “In the movie Sophie’s Choice, Sophie had to decide which of her children got to live. Did she choose her son or her daughter?”

The answer: “Her son.”

The Post-It: “Her daughter.” Wah, wah, wahhhhhh.

Before the last round they did announce the winning table. It was us!!! We got out our real smiles, high fived each other and did quite a few “Whoo-who” noises – all out obnoxious and very un-oscarly. My sister won for best costume (she’s the one in her wedding dress).

Since we knew we won for best table and had no chance of winning the night, we really let it all hang out for the last round.

And I received one last post-it.


Silver Lining:

1. I honestly believe our table will be remembered for a long time – best table theme, best dressed, most beers consumed from champagne flutes, most obnoxious . . .

2. Hubby and I have a winning streak going now. We won for best table theme last year too. The pressure – I don’t know if I can handle it (maybe this isn’t a good thing).

Were You Born In A Barn?

I’m sure spring is just around the corner. It was almost 80 on St. Patty’s day, cooler today, but the weekend looks great! Tulips are starting to come up. The air is fresh & crisp. I have to say “Sorry,” to my Northern friends – your snow may not melt for another three months & I’ll be enjoying the return of my summer color.

The problem with this time of year is exterior doors tend to stay open, especially when you’re just running in & out for “a second.” We have a double standard in our house. Hubby and I can leave the door open, but when the kids do it, that common expression is heard, “What were ya, born in a barn, aye?”

I’ve never heard any one say, “Yah. What’s it to ya?” Fortunately, neither one of my kids can say yes. Although, in anticipation of this expression being uttered, we should have had a cardboard cut-out of a barn over my belly during the birth. That would have been pretty funny – pretty fricken’ weird too.

I could go into a full blown description of the scene, but I’ll let you use your imagination. Tell me about in the comments below.

Anyway, on such a leaving-the-door-open occasion, we ended up with a visitor. As we were all leaving for the day (7:30AM), my oldest daughter had to run back inside because she forgot to feed our bird, George. Hubby went with her; therefore, the adult-leaving-the-door-open-is-ok clause was in affect.

I was busy buckling my youngest daughter into her car seat & my back was to the front door. Hubby & Cupie were at the back of the house feeding the bird. That’s why none of us saw the sparrow fly into the house through the open front door.

To make it worse, no one found out about the sparrow until 11PM that night!

Cupie has a tendency to cry as she’s running to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Hubby & I were still downstairs watching TV so I ran up to make sure she made it and calm her down. I sat on the edge of the tub and stroked her hair & wiped away the tears. When Cupie got off the toilet, in the faint glow of the nightlight, I noticed something BIG in the toilet.

I thought, “For cryin’ out loud. What did Stinkles put in the toilet now?” Good thing I was right there. We have those crappy builder grade toilets that stop up if you don’t flush between pooping & dropping the toilet paper in. I can only imagine the mess this “thing” would have caused.

I had to turn on the light so I could see what I was dealing with. When I did, I yelled down to Hubby, “Hubby, get up here!”

Hubby’s first thought was, “How big a turd could it be? Ooo, maybe it’s psychedelic in color!” Understand, he knew nothing of the bird (bird/turd – that rhymes, hee, hee – gee I’m mature, aren’t I?) so he thought if there was something to see in the toilet, it had to be a GIGANTIC poop or be rainbow swirled with neon colors. Dude, unless you’ve been tripping on magic shrooms, neon swirl should not be the first thing popping into your head.

So that I didn’t freak Cupie out anymore than I already did, I sent her to bed quickly.

Hubby arrived to see the amazing poop. Boy, was he disappointed.

We both stood over the toilet looking down. I don’t know what we were thinking – that the bird would just wake up after being peed on and fly out??? What a mess that would have been. I’m picturing the same effect as a dog getting out of a lake and “shakin’ it out” – water goes everywhere & reaks, right? Bird, pee bath, wings a flappin’ – EEEEWWWWWWW!

How the heck were we going to get it out of the toilet & what were we going to do with it???

I wasn’t sticking my hands in the toilet. They don’t make rubber gloves thick enough to entice me to pick up a pee-soaked, dead bird.

After searching the kitchen, I came up with a pair of barbeque tongs & five Wal-Mart bags.

Up in the bathroom, I handed the tongs to Hubby and held open the five-ply Wal-Mart bag.

“What am I supposed to do with this!?!?”

“Use the tongs to get the bird out & put it in here.” I thrust the bag at him. Like, duh!

He looked in the toilet and slowly reached his hand forward. Then, he quickly pulled back. Slowly reach forward, pull back quickly, slowly reach forward . . .

This went on for a bit before I asked him, “WHAT are you doing?”

“I just can’t do it!”

I grabbed the tongs & gave him the Wal-Mart bag. I dove in, got the bird, put it in the bag, left the tongs in the bag, snatched the bag back & took the whole kit-n-kaboodle down to the trash bucket (the one outside, not the kitchen trash).

Leave it to the woman to ultimately take care of things – GIRL POWER!!

Silver lining:

1. Thank God it wasn’t George – that would have scarred us all for life.


2. Cupie doesn’t really know what was in the toilet so we haven’t scarred her for life (at least not with this incident – there are plenty of other events she can discuss with her therapist later).


3. Hubby’s excited – he’s getting a new set of BBQ tongs!

Have You Ever Laughed So Hard You Hurt Yourself?

Two things upfront:
1. I warned her
2. We are white and live in the suburbs

OK. So, I was telling folks about my new blog. Of course, I was sending out e-mails because nobody uses the phone any more for this stuff. It would be way too hard for anyone to remember www.herfun.blogspot.com if it were relayed using your voice. E-mail gives everyone a chance to immediately click on the link and check it out. I'm pretty sure you can click on the little "Subscribe Post Atom" thing at the bottom to set up some kind of e-mail notification when I post something new. But, I digress.

Back to telling people about my blog. My best friend, Roxie, sends me back a quick note, which turned into a string. Well, this is how it went (I've put the exchange in the proper order):

From: LI
Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2008 3:04 PM
To: A bunch of people
Subject: Re: Bloggin'

Hey all!

I've decided the events of my life are pretty gosh darn funny so I've started a blog.
I've only got one post, but I plan on doing two or three a week.
For my funny life go to www.herfun.blogspot.com

L.


From: Barbie
Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2008 3:09 PM
To: LI
Subject: Re: Bloggin'

Dude, you seriously have far too much free time.


From: LI
Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2008 3:12 PM
To: Barbie
Subject: Re: Bloggin'

Dude - don't be dissin'
You might be the next subject :)


From: Barbie
Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2008 3:48 PM
To: LI
Subject: Re: Bloggin'

Lissn' up homegirl..I didn't sign no release form givin' you permission to use my bidness up in here.


From: LI
Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2008 3:48 PM
To: Barbie
Subject: Re: Bloggin'

Did you get your head going side to side & snap your fingers while writing that?



From: Barbie
Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2008 3:51 PM
To: LI
Subject: Re: Bloggin'

girl...ya know it. I did the head bob and followed it with an "mmmm hmmmm"

The string continues on, but we've both gone back into the white, suburbanites we are - not as funny. The funny part is that at this point, I'm laughing so hard, I nearly had tears rolling down my face and started to slap my hand on the desk. Did I mention there is a spiral bound notebook nearby? Yah, I totally scratched the edge of my hand on the end of the spiral - OW! The scratch is right at my knuckle and it's pretty tender, but it was totally worth it! How often do you and a good friend have such a minimal amount of communication, but it ends up being the highlight of your day?

Silver lining:
1. Duh, a few minutes of a dull workday were filled with laughter.
2. I kept my word & made her the subject of my next post.