Happiness Is . . .

I know I can be annoyingly upbeat. But that's just who I am.

There are a lot of things that make me happy - they would make most people happy.

Like:

• Finding money


• Getting a call from a friend you haven't talked to in awhile


• Sunshine


• A neighbor offering to help with some kind of repair or project


• Hearing that something you did out of pure friendship made another person cry with happiness.


• Hanging out with good friends

Then, there are the oddball things that probably only make me happy.

Such as:

• Having an entire shelf in one kitchen cabinet dedicated solely for the storage of rolls of paper towels.
  
  Yes, I can buy the eight pack of Bounty and not have to stash one or two here, there and everywhere. I have one shelf and that's where all the rolls go. I love it!



• Mechanical pencils.
  
  First of all, they never need to be sharpened. It's just a bummer when the last of the lead falls out and you shake the pencil and hear nothing. I've always got spare lead with me, though.
  
  Second of all, they keep you flexible and neat. No scribble, scrabble here.
  
  Need to change an appointment? No problem, just erase and write it on another date. Honestly, I'm happier changing an appointment if I've written it in pencil because my planner stays neat. I get irritated if I have to make a messy scribble - it looks so unprofessional.



• The days in spring when the temperature is consistently above 65 degrees.
  
  This isn't because I can shed my sweaters and coats. It's not because the trees will bud and flowers will bloom.
  
  No, this is because I can haul out the sandals and ditch the socks until October. Not only do I dislike wearing socks, but it's one less person I have to find socks for in the morning. Yay!



• My bird "cat-calling" me.
  
  It was one of the first "songs" George learned. It's so nice to walk into the room and hear him "Wert Whihrl" at me.
  
  I guess I'm sexy because I talk to him and buy him food. Whatever. I'll take it.



• Shiny pennies.
  
  A shiny penny is like a touch of sunshine in your hand - even on the cloudiest days.



• Watching my children sleep.
  
  Don't get me wrong, I like them when they're awake too (for the most part).
  
  However, they are so angelic with their eyes closed and their lips slightly parted. I love the softness of their breathing and the sense of calm that surrounds them.

I know this is only somewhat random. It's not like it all just spilled out of my head in a rush this morning. But there's really only a very thin thread concerning my weird feeling of happiness so I'm calling it acceptable for Random Tuesday Thoughts.

Many others have random-er, fun thoughts so you should pop in at Keely's place by clicking this magical purple button.

Silver Lining:

1. It's the little things in life that make real and lasting happiness. It's good to remember what they are and thank God for our blessings.


2. I played Bunco last night and didn't write anything on the back of my scorecard. All the girls knew they were "safe" from becoming a blog subject. However, I really feel the need to mention them here (as part of that whole hanging out with friends and happiness thing) and give any of my new readers links to the fun Bunco posts of the past. Click here and enjoy!

PS - Here's another super funny post. It wasn't about Bunco, but it was written based on my "scorecard" notes.

From Bed Head to Beautiful in 30 Minutes

Every morning I wake up with a plan.

• Shower - 5 minutes.


• Dry off and moisturize all over - 3 minutes.


• Apply make up - 7 minutes.


• Brush teeth - 2 minutes


• Get dressed - 5 minutes


• Dry & style hair - 7 minutes


• Put on jewelry & shoes - 1 minute

Ta da! I'm gorgeous in 30 minutes!

Does this plan ever actually pan out?

Nope.

Why not?

Let's break it down.

The shower. As long as I don't shave my legs, I could, maybe, if I moved with super speed, get in and out in five minutes. Shaving is what gets me. Sure, I wear pants to work, but let's hope I don't need to change into Capri's or shorts, or (gasp!) a bathing suit later.

And that super speed ain't happening without a cup of coffee. I haven't built any time into the plan for stumbling down to the kitchen for a cup of coffee, let alone the time it takes to actually make a pot.

Drying off & moisturizing all over? I can save time here because my lotion never seems to be in my bathroom so I just skip it.

Apply makeup. I'm not sure if this takes seven minutes or not.

I've never timed it really. Nor have I ever started my make up and finished it without interruption.

This is about the time my kids start waking up and Hubby realizes he's getting out of the shower, but doesn't have any underwear. I have to go down to the laundry room and find a clean pair for him and then figure out what the girls are going to wear.

For whatever reason, it is just impossible to find matching socks for Stinkles. I just had to buy her the socks with pink or blue or purple or green toes and a matching band at the ankle. Cupie has all the same socks - purple toes with no color band at the ankle. Easy peasy - find two socks and they go together.

Not Stinkles' socks.

Nope.

You gotta dig for a match.

So I sit down on the laundry room floor and look for matching Stinkles socks. Hubby's calling for his underwear so I bring that to him and then back to the laundry room for the Great Sock Hunt.

Da, da-da-dahhhhhhhhhhh!

MATCHING STINKLES' SOCKS!

While the kids are busy getting dressed, I finish my make up.

But before I can brush my teeth, Hubby now needs socks as well. He can find his own pants & shirt from the railing outside the laundry room. Oh, lucky me.

Of course, every pair of Hubby's socks are different patterns. To make things even harder is he has several pair that are similar in style but different in color. So there is the constant, "Is this navy blue or black?" comparison going on.

Brushing my teeth. I know there is argument by some that it doesn't really take two minutes to brush your teeth, but it does for me. My mouth just can't be clean until my tooth brush starts the staccato at the two minute mark. It's one area of my life where I can be quite anal - my teeth. That last sentence has a bit of irony to it, doesn't it?

Getting dressed. It doesn't take all that long, but the application of wrinkle releaser takes a bit. You have to spray, then stretch, then smooth and repeat until the clothes don't look like they just came out of a laundry basket. Heaven forbid, I climb over the piles of laundry to get out the ironing board and iron.

Drying and styling my hair. This usually takes more than seven minutes due to a couple of factors.

First, whether or not the kids have finished lolly-gagging and gotten dressed. If they are done getting dressed, they need help with their hair and teeth. Cupie is six and I know she can at least brush her hair and teeth (not with the same brush), but I don't trust her to do it with out a reminder. Stinkles is only four, and well, that's just not old enough to do it well enough so we have to help her.

Secondly, it depends on how long it's been since I had a hair cut. If it was somewhat recently and the stars align on the kids getting dressed factor, seven minutes is about right. If it's been more than a month, it takes five minutes just to dry my hair. It's not all that long, just super thick. If I wait too long to get it cut, I start getting triangle head like that chick in the Dilbert cartoons. That's some thick hair.

Jewelry. By the time all that is finished, I have to figure out what jewelry I'm wearing. I've become a total jewelry whore so this is a big decision daily.

I like the big rings and I'm really bummed out if I can't make one go with an outfit.

Oh my gosh, you mean the only ring I have to wear with this is the red cocktail ring?

Never mind that six months ago, that ring (with a 1/2 inch center stone) seemed huge. Now, if the ring doesn't partially cover the fingers on either side of the one actually wearing the ring, it's not big enough.

Seriously, the one I'm wearing right now is about 1 1/2 inches in diameter.

Whew! That's what it takes to get as gorgeous as me every day.

Silver Lining:

1. As I was writing this I came up with a plan to sort the "missing a match" socks. I'm going to install a clothes line and pin up all the socks that are missing their matches. Then, I can scan the line each time instead of sifting through a pile. I feel very brilliant right now.


2. I've been inspired to do some laundry and actually put it away. But it's a good three hours before I get home to do that and I'm thinking that I won't be inspired anymore when that happens. C'est la Vie.

PS - I'm not really that conceited - I don't consider myself gorgeous by any stretch of the word. But dang, after all that work every morning, you'd think I'd be approaching it . . .

Ten Things About Me

Kat over at Three Bedroom Bungalow participated in a meme in which she answered 10 questions about herself. I needed an idea for a post, so I'm totally ripping it off.

I'm not really ripping anyone off - she said anyone could participate. I just felt like sounding like a bad-a$$.

*snort*

Yah, Pollyanna, the bad-a$$.

NOT!

Anywho, here's the ten questions and my answers:

1. Are you a meticulous planner?
   
   A planner, yes. A follow thru-er, no. I make all kinds of plans for things I'd like to do and there are usually lists, but actually getting them done is another thing. I work better (albeit b*tchier) under pressure. Give me a goal and a deadline and I'll make it, just don't expect weekly progress reports.



2. Do you wear make-up? If so, how much and how often?
   
   Heck, yah! I don't leave the house without mascara and lip gloss at a bare minimum.
   
   Don't tell me you don't have time to slap on some mascara - it just takes a few flicks of Mary Kay's Ultimate Mascara to open your eyes up. Lip gloss you can apply while walking to the car.
   
   I actually do the whole gamut daily - foundation, powder, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara, blush, lips.
   
   More important than the make up is the skin care routine. As long as you cleanse, apply a sunscreen, and moisturize, most women don't need a lot of make up. Make up makes you look good in five minutes, a good skin care routine makes you look good five, ten, fifteen years from now.
   
   Hopefully, you have been guilted into calling your Mary Kay Consultant to replenish your skincare products. If you don't already have one, contact my gal (click here) - she's AWESOME!



3. What, if anything, do you wear to bed?
   
   I wear jammies. But they have to match. I'm not a pull-out-whatever-top-and-bottom-you-can-find kind of gal. Oh, and no underwear - they just get all bunched up and uncomfortable at night.



4. Look over your right shoulder, what do you see?
   
   A picture of each of my girls and of Hubby and me on our wedding day. Plain black frames hanging from red satin ribbon.
   
   Hmmmmmm, I love my family.



5. If you had to take one random item to an interview to help describe yourself, what would it be?
   
   Easiest question on the list!
   
   A scrap of silver fabric. No matter how down I may get, I can always pick myself up again.
   
   I firmly believe my motto: There is always a silver lining.
   
   I'm not one to give up. I may abandon projects or take a turn in another direction for one reason or another, but I don't simply give up.



6. What film would you have like a starring role in?
   
   Say Anything. Lloyd Dobbler, need I say more?



7. Jimmy Stewart or Cary Grant?
   
   Neither. See #6 above.
   
   Now, if you had given me the choice of John Cusack and Chris O'Donnell, I would have had major problem. They're both on the laminated list.



8. Do you swear in front of children?
   
   Yes. And I always do the "oops" with my fingers over my mouth. I'm such a dork!



9. Do you sew or knit or do any other "womanly" craft?
   
   Is complaining about the fact that my house is never clean considered a "womanly" craft? How about nagging my family to do stuff? Hubby says I have these two down to an art form. Art implies craft, does it not?
   
   Seriously, I can sew straight lines. I made the curtains in my dining room & kitchen & I actually get compliments on them.
   
   I can also crochet and knit. Again, this is a straight line kind of thing, like scarves and blankets. Don't ask me to make you anything to wear.
   
   Honestly, don't ask me to make you anything because I'm too busy complaining about my house and nagging my family to get around to doing something for someone else.



10. Twitter or Facebook?
    
    Facebook. I've never heard of anyone farming on Twitter so I don't go there.

Silver Lining:

1. I pounded out a post in 20 minutes.


2. Anyone else who needs an idea for today, can take this on. Leave me a comment if you do, so I can stop by and check it out.

Fast Cash

Yes, I know I've been absent for awhile - sorry. I've been very busy and not my usual chipper self, but I've got a little giggle for you today.

Have you seen these ads on TV: "Send us your gold and we'll send you a check." They show a pile of glitz. Then, a person with a goofy, fake surprise look and and fistful of cash pops up.

I've often thought, who in their right mind is going to blindly send off their jewelry that is potentially worth a fistful of cash? Must be a scam.

I don't know about the places on TV, but apparently, there is a local place that buys gold for cash. A girlfriend of mine just traded in some broken chains, earrings that were missing the match, rings she doesn't wear, etc. She watched the entire time as a balding guy behind the counter scrutinized her offerings under a magnifying glass, weighed the acceptable pieces, punched some numbers into a calculator and handed her a wad of cash!

This morning, I eagerly went through all my jewelry in anticipation of a lunch time adventure.

Amongst other pieces, I had:

• a broken chain necklace


• a bracelet I had gotten from a boyfriend sixteen years ago


• various single earrings


• the original setting for my engagement ring


• and a ring that I couldn't where it came from

It was a pretty ring with a tear-drop shaped opal offset by a couple of diamond dust chips. I was still looking at it, wondering where I had gotten it, when Hubby came to check out the loot.

"Where did you get that?"

"I was just wondering that myself."

Then, it hit me.

"Oh, yah. The other Knuckle-head gave that to me."

The other "Knuckle-head" was a guy I dated before Hubby and happens to have the same first name as Hubby.

He was such a jerk, when I decided to break up with him, I refused his phone calls for an entire day while I filled about half of one of those blank journals with all his short comings. When I was finished writing about how much of a jerk he was, I called him over to my place, sat him down (I remained standing) and read him passages from the journal. I even made him wait while I said, "And another thing, hold on I need to find it," so I could find the right page. I made sure he knew why I broke up with him.

Cold? Perhaps. But that jerk still had the nerve to tell people he didn't understand what went wrong with us!!!!!!!

*shudders*

Anywho. Hubby looked at the ring again, plucked it out of my hands, and tossed in with all the rest of the jewelry to be traded.

"Yup, that's goin'."

Silver Lining:

1. Got $25 for that ring.


2. Got about $300 for everything else. I couldn't believe I had that much "money" lying around - it was all stuff I don't wear for one reason or another. You just never know what you're sitting on!

Parental Logic

Because I've got eyes in the back of my head . . .

I brought you into this world, and I can take you out . . .

Keep it up and Santa may put you on the naughty list . . .

Because I said so . . .

Ah, the logic of parents.

My girls are small enough to still believe almost everything I say. Especially if I say it with any sort of authority.

From personal experience, I know this will not continue into the teenage years.

Case & point (I was about sixteen):

"Dad, are there onions in this?"

I can't stand onions. I can taste them in everything.

Hubby and I went to the Waffle House once and my order of hashbrowns had been cooked on a griddle that at one point in time had onions on it. I nearly choked on the first bite - they had a distinct onion taste. I wasn't even hungry after that.

Dramatic? Yes.

Changable? No.

Back to dinner with my dad.

With a look of complete disbelief, he answered, "How could you tell? I minced them up! You can't even taste them."

Being a smart*ssy teenager, I responded, "If you can't taste them, then why are they in there?"

"For flavor." Too late - Dad was soooooo busted.

I just grinned from ear to ear and pushed my bowl away.

Silver Lining:

1. I had gotten too big for him to knock me into next week.


2. I had gotten old enough to take notes for my own parenting manual. Too bad I was a perfect angel. That manual is not helping me deal with the temper tantrums and mischievous actions of my own girls.

Quadward - Honestly & Randomly

Count them:





Four awards!

All given to me by Cougs at Couger Tales. She's a fellow Babe and SITSta and definitely a good read.

How wonderful is this?

It's such a fantastic surprise when ever one award comes my way, but four? At the same time?

Well, let's just say, it blew me right out of my chair.

Or was it the Pleasantville wind? We're famous for our wind. Not really, but it's pretty gosh darn windy. I refer to my house as the "Red house on the prairie." Because I don't have any neighbors on either side of me and when the wind kicks up, you might as well be on a prairie because there is no protection.

As I didn't have the windows open this weekend, I'm pretty sure it was the awards.

I'm not know to be short-winded myself so I'm making this part one of four. I'll be passing out three more in the next week or so. But let's get started with this one:


Honest Scrap. What does that mean?

If you say it out loud, it sounds like "Honest Crap." Not to diminish the award in any way, but wouldn't this be a more appropriate award for me? Honestly, the fact that you all like my crap enough to come back time and time again is what should be blowing me out of my chair. What the heck, I say, "Cheers! To a sore arse for hitting the floor every time someone leaves me a comment or becomes a follower." Raise a glass of what ever liquid deliciousness suits your fancy.

In order to fully accept this award, I need to share 10 random things about me.

And, since it's Random Thoughts Tuesday, I'm counting this as my post for that as well :)

So here goes:

1. In the fifth grade, I punched a boy in the jaw.
   
   I could feel his fingers on my back as he was getting ready to snap my bra. I clenched my fist and swung straight back with my arm. Totally caught him off guard - it was awesome!
   
   He never bothered me again.



2. I suck at math. I'm an accountant and without an adding machine or a spreadsheet, I'm lost when it comes to numbers.
   
   Hubby, on the other hand, is a whiz at it and never lets me forget. I've completely given up on this aspect of my life. I don't even try anymore, I just look at him. Or if someone talks number to me and he's not around, I just say, "Hubby's the numbers whiz, I'll have to talk to him about that." Sad, but true.



3. Speaking of spreadsheets, I'm an expert.
   
   I love how all my linked up spreadsheets calculate in seconds when my co-workers are busy entering the same information multiple times in multiple spreadsheets. If they would just listen to me, their lives would be so much easier. Gee, that sounds conceited.
   
   Oh well, sometimes the truth hurts.



4. I make all my own curtains.
   
   I'm too picky to buy anything ready made. They either aren't long enough, full enough, or interesting enough.
   
   Or they are too expensive. I'm cheap that way. I made fully lined curtains for my dining room window for about $15 bucks. Ceiling to floor. Woot! Woot!



5. I don't understand how I can wash all the light one day, and run out of underwear three days later.
   
   Seriously, there is a black hole with all my underwear. Each time I do the laundry, it eats up another pair.
   
   I'm lucky I'm not negative on underwear right now.
   
   One of these days, I'm going to catch that black hole in the act and I'm going to re-claim fifteen years worth of underwear. Well, maybe only six or seven years worth. The ones older than that probably don't fit anymore.



6. I once worked for a company that did not allow paper clips and ALL faxes were printed on green paper.
   
   That's not green as in environmentally friendly. It was actually green colored paper.
   
   They spent a fortune on binder clips. A paper clip box has, like, a hundred paper clips in it. A binder clip box has twelve clips and costs three times as much per box. You do the math. Better yet, let Hubby do it.



7. I have had someone from every state except Alaska visit my blog.
   
   Where are all the Alaskans? Do they not like to laugh? If you know anyone in Alaska, send them a note telling them to read my blog. Really, then I can stop stressing over this point and move on to getting people from the 198 countries of the world to read my blog.
   
   I'm almost national. Now, I want to be global. I want to spread laughter to every corner of the earth. Come on people - help a gal out!



8. I paid for college all by myself.
   
   I spent two years at community college and two years at a university.
   
   No scholarships. No grants. No hand outs from Mom and Dad.
   
   I've since paid off all my student loans too.



9. I bought my first home when I was 23.
   
   Idiots! What business did any bank have giving a 23 year old a mortgage for twice her annual salary? Gee, guess this mentality is what got us into the housing mess we're in now.



10. I'm a Daisy Girl Scout leader.
    
    What was I thinking? It's actually a lot more involved than I thought. I used to teach Sunday School on a weekly basis so I should be able to handle meetings twice a month, right?
    
    Well, not only to I have to actually plan the meetings (they gave me a detailed, step-by-step book for Sunday School), but I have to attend two different leader meetings a month. There are special events for the girls - skating, lock-ins, camps, etc and I have to help with these things too.
    
    Really, though, I'm loving it. I want my daughter to have a better Girl Scout experience than I had growing up. As far as I knew, Girl Scouts was selling cookies, making a craft once a month, and bringing a snack to the meetings once a year. I want Cupie to enjoy being a Girl Scout AND learn what being a Girl Scout is all about.

You all have a little bit of scrappiness in you so I think you all deserve this award. Share your "Honest Scrap" or "Honest Crap" - I look forward to reading it.

Now, head over to Cougs' place to experience her own brand of scrap.

And you need to stop by Keeley's place for all the other randomness floating around in the blogosphere.

And finally . . .

Silver Lining:

1. At that job with the weird paper clip rule, I had the best boss I've ever had. He taught me more about my profession than any classroom ever could, the importance of work/life balance, and that sometimes you have to make your own fun.


2. Proving that those bankers were idiots, I couldn't afford my home and a single gal's lifestyle. I had to get a second job to do so. That's how I ended up being a Domino's Pizza delivery driver - where I met Hubby.


3. That boy in fifth grade didn't turn me in to the teacher. I think he was either too stunned or too embarrassed to get hit by a girl.