Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Restroom Evolution

That’s right, there has been an evolution of sorts going on with the restrooms here at the office. It’s been pretty slow, like over the last year or so. The other day, the newest characteristic was the icing on the cake and I can’t keep my thoughts to myself any longer.

The first, was the addition of one of those paper towel dispensers that you wave your hand in front of and an allotment of paper whirs out. I can’t figure out why this one is necessary.

It can’t be sanitary issues as there was already a paper towel dispenser that has those individual z-fold papers in it. They didn’t take it out. Besides, the new dispenser has a sensor that is so insensitive, you practically have to touch it to get it to spit out a paper towel. Now, how can that be more sanitary than the original 1970’s version. Actually, why does even matter how you get the paper towels out of a dispenser? The people touching it, just washed their hands, right??

Also, the new, automatic dispenser is so high on the wall, you have to reach up to wave at the sensor. This causes water to run down your arm and in your sleeves.

Around the same time, sanitary gel dispensers were added just outside the restrooms. Didn’t you just wash your hands???

The next round in the evolution was the addition of signage to the outside of the doors.

For Privacy Reasons,
Please Refrain from Using
Phones in the Restroom

Really??? Is there anyone who doesn’t know that everyone outside the restroom can hear every noise in the restroom?? That includes that fart you went to the restroom to “discretely” let go.

I work in an office of professionals and access is restricted to employees, contractors & temporary workers. How immature to they think we are? I honestly don’t think anyone here is going to go into the restroom with their cell phones with the intention of taking pictures over the stalls. Even if there are creepy contractors, I don’t see women contractors doing this. The restroom doesn’t have a gender check so the mere presence of a male in the woman’s restroom would cause enough ruckus – with or without a phone.

The newest restroom characteristic comes in the form of a SHARPS box. Any they advocating shooting up at work? I suppose this is to ensure you’re being safe with your needles. You wouldn’t want someone else gets a disease by sticking themselves with a used needle when they reach waaaaaay down in the trashcan.

While were on the subject of restrooms, can I jump off my topic for a moment (not that you can do anything about it, but I thought I’d be nice and ask)?

Isn’t there an unwritten rule about using the stall next to someone? Unless it is absolutely necessary, aren’t you supposed to have an empty stall between two users?

For example, if there are three stalls and they are all empty, you should choose the one of the end stalls. That way there the other end stall is available for another person; thus, leaving an empty stall in between. I can see your heads nodding – I knew I was right on this one!

Why, when I’m in a five staller (all empty upon entering) and I’m in the middle one, would some one choose the stall right next to me??? I clearly followed the rules and left at least two available, more desirable stalls – what gives??

Anyway, back to the original topic for the silver lining.

Silver Lining:
1. Obviously, work safety is a positive priority. I’m glad I work for a company that promotes this and takes it seriously.
2. I don’t have to worry about someone in Hong Kong hearing me pee via cell phone.
3. I don’t have to worry about someone taking my picture while in a compromised position.
4. I’m not going to get any germs from the paper towel dispensers (unless someone at the paper towel factory sneezed on them during the rolling process).
5. In the highly unlikely even I get hooked on drugs so I can fry my brains like eggs, I know I can safely dispose of my needles at work.

PS – Before you get all up in arms, I’m sure the SHARPS box is there for a legitimate medical reason. But that’s not something that makes me laugh . . .

16 People Laughed Along With Me, Won't You?:

Sarah said...

omg...i HATE those stupid paper towel thingies, i usually dry my hands off on my pants rather then try to get that thing to work!
And yeah, I hate it when someone chooses the stall right next to mine and we're the only 2 in there..it just makes me wonder what there up to O.o

Chip said...

Its like the urinals in the men's room... its an unwritten rule that you never use the one right next to another dude. If it is the only one empty... you wait.

My pet peeve is people that want to have a converstion with you while you are going #2. Can't it wait?? Send me an email or something.

mkreider said...

Hey, you're a lot of fun! I like the way you think. I'll be a follower.

The Laughing Idiot said...

Sarah - your pants? Well, as long as your hands are clean. Unlike my kids who completely ignore the napkin next to their plate and instead wipe their potatoes on their pants.

Chip - With women, it's not just #2. If you're in a stall, you don't talk!

mkr - Thanks! It's good to know I brighten someones day :)

Anonymous said...

I'm speechless:):):):) The ONLY nice thing about having someone in the stall next to you is when your stall is out of toilet paper!!!!!!

Scott Hulbert said...

I am very particular about my stall. I have my favorites and would agree on leaving an open one in between.

A stall is kind of like a lover. You want it to be clean and kind and you do not want to be reminded of what other people have done there.

The Laughing Idiot said...

Scott - So true, so true!

On a side note . . .
I happened to notice one of the Adsense ads at the bottom of the page when I got to the end of the comments. It was for "Hand Lotion" - could help but LOL!

The Laughing Idiot said...

Thanks a lot Scott! All afternoon, the image of you caressing the stall door and/or the commode has been popping into my head. EWW!

Pwn Star said...

My biggest pet peeve is when girls sprinkle on the seat. I mean, I understand that they have to HOVER. (I hover, myself). BUT, if you get a little something on the seat (it happens), WIPE IT OFF yourself b*tch!!!


The Laughing Idiot said...

Grosser than gross: When it's red, not yellow!

Hit 40 said...

The worst is when a pubic bathroom does not have a ventilation system!!

MzzLily said...

Someone who thinks like me? But you put it into words so nicely! Thanks for the morning, er, midday smile... I'm an instant fan!

Anonymous said...

Oh I have to respond to this...

If you've ever needed to inject yourself then you've been told that you never, ever put used needles in regular trash. Never, never! Think about the poor person that has to empty a plastic bag with needles buried in the paper towels. The sharps container is for diabetics and anyone else who has to self-inject for MEDICAL reasons.

As for stall selection, there are many factors in the choice and proximity to used stalls is just one of them. Other factors include cleanliness, lighting, paper supply and even whether that stall is one's "favorite." Personally, I'd rather use the stall next to someone rather than the one that's always dim because the dim one leaves me wondering if it's really clean.

And how dare they limit phone use in the john? Sometimes #2 takes a while and if you have email or games on your phone it can ease the boredom.

The Laughing Idiot said...

Oh, I totally know it is for medical reasons (that's why I put in the "PS" - I didn't want to seem like a complete dunce).

Good thoughts on the stall selection. I can say that the restroom has adequate lighting so that isn't an issue, but my mom did bring up the toilet paper thing. It's good to be next to someone when you realize you were a dork & didn't check the toilet paper supply.

No shit on the #2 (pun intended). I'll tell you what though, I stay in my stall until the restroom is empty afterward (unless it would be a completely unreasonable amount of time, then I suck it up). Games sure would help pass the time :)

Anonymous said...

The automatic towel dispensers we have are awful, like you said you have to touch them almost to get anything out of them and then you have to get it to spin two or three times to get enough to dry your hands. I agree they are to high up. But the "fancy ones" only spins once until you remove the paper towel, so I guess we win on this one. I however get my three spins before I wash my hands, then I dry my hands and turn off the water and open the door all with paper towel in hand. As for the phone usage, we are all professionals here like you said. But we are fotunate to work at a company that "cares"! - Danny

Anonymous said...

This response is to CHIP:

I agree with you on the space between urinals. But who invented them, when you use them, the pee splashes...I mean really who wants pee splashed at them when you go to the restroom; you might as well pee in your pants LOL...MEN look at the floor around the urnials next time you go to the restroom. - Danny

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