You Will Always Be Older Than Me

I’ll admit it. I’m getting older – not old, just older.

Cupie saw a guy with thinning hair and asked what happened to his hair. Good thing he wasn’t in ear shot – I would have been mortified. I first explained that talking about how people look is rude. Then I told her that sometimes when men get older, their hair stops growing on their heads and comes out their ears & nose instead. I told her to ask Uncle Steve (Hubby’s brother) next time we saw him if he had more hair growing out of his ears.

Hubby has nice thick hair with no evidence of thinning, but being three years older, he will always be older than me.

Recently, in an effort to convince my children that their father was old, I’ve told them the following:

You see that port-a-potty out there (we live in a construction zone)? Well, daddy is soooo old, that they had a wooden one of those in their back yard. He had to go potty in it because they didn’t have bathrooms in their house. It was called an outhouse back then and they smelled pretty bad because there wasn’t any water to flush.

You better take care of your toys. Put your toys away so no one steps on them and breaks them. You know, when daddy was little, he didn’t have cool toys like this. They had to hunt for a block of wood, then use a knife to cut a design out of the wood – it’s called whittling.

You can’t play in the kitchen when daddy is cooking dinner. The stove is hot and you could burn your self. You see that fire under the pot? Daddy gets really excited about cooking on the stove because back when he lived in a cave he had to rub two sticks together until they started a fire.

Hubby got me back though. After one of these jibes, he said, “Mommy's not as young as you think. Daddy may have been on the council to name ‘dirt’, but Mommy was in the audience.”

Good one.

Silver lining:
1. He's still older than me.
2. Well, he's still older than me.