Tuesday, June 23, 2009

What's With This Heat?

The weather here has turned from rainy & dreary to hot & steamy. The heat index is supposed to be something like 105 – 110 today!!! I’m sure that’s with 100% humidity. I hate it when I walk out of a nice cool building into the blistering heat with a humidity level that makes me feel like I’m drowning.

This kind of heat makes you do things you wouldn’t normally do. Last night, I was playing Bunco (that’s normal, not a heat induced thing) and heard the wildest story. . .

It was a hot and steamy Sunday morning so the town folk headed over to the church – not because it was hot & steamy, but because it was Sunday. The ladies fanned themselves with their bulletins, the preacher approached lectern quickly (so as to create a breeze within the robe), the men aired their pits by splaying their arms across the backs of the pews, and the children just sat there (it was way too hot to cause any kind of disturbance).

One woman took the hot and steamy thing to a whole new level. All this was actually getting her hot and bothered. And she was going to do something about it.

From the back of the church, this woman started crab crawling across the tops of the pews. Polite as could be, she even said “Excuse me,” as she climbed to the front of the church. By now, everything had stopped and everyone was staring (don’t lie, you would be too).

At the front of the church, the preacher, calm as can be, approached her to see if he could help her with something. To which, she propositioned him. When the preacher turned her down in front of everyone, did she walk away with her head down in shame? I would if I were turned down flat in front of everyone I knew. Nooooo, she proceeded to strip off her clothing in an effort to change his mind!

The authorities were called and she was hauled off to the looney bin.

As I relayed this all to my husband, he just sat there playing on his computer. I wasn’t sure he had heard the story until the end when he asked, “So what church was this at? I’d consider changing religions.”

I wonder if he wants to become a preacher too.

Silver Lining:
1. The woman has been taken somewhere to get the help she needs, be it medication, or a cold shower.
2. It wasn’t me! While I may belong in a looney bin, I don't need to strip off all my clothing for that to become blatently obvious. Besides, NO ONE wants to see me hot, bothered & naked!

6 People Laughed Along With Me, Won't You?:

Anonymous said...

Is that story for real?? Yes, the STL heat is miserable. I may be stripping NAKED tonight due to our air conditioner is BROKEN. I'm thinking of setting up the kiddie pool in the middle of our living room!!! So I guess I need to go to the loony bin too- the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!!!


DirtRaceFan55 said...

M - you DO NOT belong in a looney bin - at least not in my opinion - but then again some might say I belong in so - I wonder if they let you pick your "group mates" for projects and activities - hmmm! -Danny

chicamom85 said...

That was a fun story.


- Jan - said...

Are you serious? Oh my God, that must be one unforgettable Sunday for everyone. And your husband's reaction reminds me of my hubbie. It was something that he would say too.

Mouthy Housewife said...

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Sadly, I know how the gal feels.

Jessica -TMH

Tray said...

That story his hilarious! Almost sounds too funny to be true though. I hope for the priests sake it was, we all need a little excitement in our lives and im suuuuure he wasnt expecting that :)

Btw, I love the design of your page.

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