Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Anyone for Pizza?

I didn’t bring my lunch today, nor did I feel like going out. The food drawer at my cube is also empty seeing as how I ate my last pop tart for lunch yesterday. A friend of mine regularly plays trivia in the lunch room so I decided to take my chances with the wheel of death and play a little trivia.

The wheel of death is a vending machine that contains “fresh-ish” lunch type food – salads, sandwiches, square pizza, etc. It’s a frustrating machine.

Sometimes it takes your money, but doesn’t let you open the compartment door.

Sometimes I rotate the food I want to the door, but the machine decides otherwise and will spontaneously turn to some other random compartment (which is usually empty).

Other times, the dang door doesn’t open far enough. I got a salad last week and the door opened about four inches when there was a seven or eight inch salad container to get out.

That sucker was $2.75, there was no way I was letting that door close. The compartment was giving birth to the salad whether it wanted to or not. I yanked it out, slapped it’s bottom, and heard that newborn salad cry as I pulled off the crinkled-up lid.

Today, I decided to go for the square, elementary school pizza. When you put it in the microwave it gets all chewy. I decided I should give the toaster oven a whirl.

I’ve never used a toaster oven in my life.

And there were no instructions near by.

There was a button for pizza. Duh, let’s push that one.

Gee whiz! It started blinking at me. I stared back at it with a blank look on my face. Now what?

Another friend happened to be in the kitchen and came over to help. He had never used it before either, but he was kind enough to point out the “start” button.

I pushed the start button. A blue light came on, but the display continued to blink at me. So I pushed the start button again.

Everything turned off.

Like an idiot I went through this routine three more times. I finally let it blink just to see what happened.

Lo and behold, it started to warm up!

It continued to blink until it hit a desired temperature of 400 degrees, then switched over to timer mode. 20 minutes!!! I don’t cook a frozen pizza at home for that amount of time! It was at this point I realized we had frozen pizza for dinner last night. And my mother-in-law was bringing pizza over for dinner tonight. *sigh*

I pulled open the door after five minutes (the cheese was bubbling) and discovered there weren’t any pot holders or oven mitts around. It was 400 degrees, how the heck was I going to get it out of there?

I got a fork to slide it out onto a plate, but it was stuck to the little pan.

After I singed my knuckle, trying to work a plastic knife between the pizza and the pan, I got a wad of napkins to use as a pot holder.

By the time I extracted my pizza from the pan, the whole dealio had cooled off enough to use my hands. I made my way over to the trivia group, picked up my pizza, and discovered it was chewy.

Next time, I’ll just microwave it.

Silver Lining:

1. The pizza must have been somewhat fresh or I cooked it long enough because I haven’t shown any signs of food poisoning yet.

2. I won’t be craving pizza anytime soon. That’s better for the diet that I re-start every day because I failed the day before.

9 People Laughed Along With Me, Won't You?:

DirtRaceFan55 said...

Something told me when I was sitting in the lunch room - and overheard you conversing with others about the "oven" I had a feeling a blog was coming. I agree with you on the machine and the door opening slightly and then the random rotation after you decide what you want! It is haunted! Had I known you were having "problems" with it I would have got off my bottom and helped you to the best of my ability! I hope your singed knuckle heals quite quickly! On the bright side you don't have to cook tonight, your mother-in-law is bringing "non chewy" pizza over for dinner! - Danny

Mrs. Newlywed Giggles said...

Ha ha, I had pizza for breakfast!

Bre.zDreamer said...

What an ordeal.... XD

MzzLily said...

I wondered what ever happened to that vending machine... It owes me money!

Robin said...

I'm totally wanting pizza now!

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

You are cracking me up this morning :)

I love pizza and really would eat it every night!

Zeemaid said...

*L* Yes I'll consider voting for you.

Thanks for stopping by my blog. I really enjoyed coming and checking your's out. I really like that you have a silver lining quip at the end of each post. What a great idea for staying positive.

CEOmum said...

Hmm. Pizza from a machine.

Never tried that one. Sounds scary.

Zhenya and Nika Aksutin said...

Hello! My name is Nika! I so like your blog! We are from Russia. My husband and I to work with students. We organize many clubs to construct attitudes friendship and to speak them about the Christ. I have ladys club, we to do hand made cards, scrapbook, quilt and crosstitch. It is good opportunity to testify about our God and His love! Every Saturday I have craft club for ladyes. We do cards, quilt, crochet, cross stitch too. It very not usual and new to Russian culture. I to study from different blogs how to make cards, made quilt and to use different technics. We are missionary to the Far East Russia. We are russian. We live in city Birobidzhan, it is the Jewish region in Russia. A lot of Jews live here. They have synagogues and to celebrate religious holidays. But many of them do not know the Christ. We have 2 daughters. Polina is 8 years and Liliya is 2 years.And if you are interesting about us I shall be glad give answer to you. I will glad if you can write me.Sorry my English.
You can vizit to my blog
and our family ministry blog

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