How Do You Solve A Problem Like Demi-a?

You ever have one of those days? You know the kind. Nothing seems to go right.

I’m not having one of those days. I’m having a great day. I’ve laughed quite a bit in fact.

It’s my friend Demi who’s having one of those days. And gosh darn it, if it ain’t funny when it’s not you.

Let’s start with this morning.

I was running late so I don’t know if she had had any coffee. We get coffee together every morning and get our gab on before starting the day. But today was not one of those days.

Maybe that's what started the whole thing. She didn’t have any coffee, nor did she get the benefit of getting a preview of future blog posts. She doesn’t actually read my blog because I’ve already told her all the stories over coffee. Although, she could read it once and awhile and voice her opinion.

Let’s get back to her day.

So she comes down to my desk and rests her elbows on the ginormous stack of papers at the end of my desk.

“I have a problem. This spreadsheet worked last week, but now it doesn’t. I swear I’m doing the exact same thing.”

As per our routine, we hippity-hop down to her desk.

“See this number here [points a report on her desk], doesn’t match this number on the spreadsheet.”

I started looking at the reports.

“You ran the wrong report.”

She tried to log in to re-run the report, but clicked on the wrong website in her favorites.

Once we got to the right website, she clicked on the wrong button to run the report.



“What’s with you and the clicking? Or should I say mis-clicking?” I’m snickering at her expense, but at least she was snickering at herself.

Isn’t snicker a funny word? Seriously, where did this come from?

Were the people who invented the Snickers bar laughing when they came up with nougat, caramel, peanuts & chocolate? Nougat is a funny word too; maybe that’s what started the whole thing.

Fast forward to lunch time.

We head over to the Jack In The Box for our two free tacos (free taco Tuesday). That’s another post, for another time.

After a somewhat uneventful lunch, we’re heading over to the grocery store for a few things. I’m reading her my notes for yet another post (like I said we didn’t have the morning coffee – I gotta get her up to speed sometime), yet I’m the one who noticed she was about to pull out in front of another car.

Technically, she was making an illegal turn, but she blamed the other guy anyway. There was a median in front of us so she was going to make a quick left (against traffic) to jaunt around it so we could get to the grocery store. The guy hesitated for like an eighth of a second so she took that as the signal for her to go ahead with her illegal jaunt.

Fast forward to after the grocery store.

This time she almost backed into another car that was also backing up. That chick had the gall (another great word) to honk at us! She’s the one who floored it when backing out of her parking space.


Then, a guy almost t-boned us. Totally would have been his fault – he was the one entering our lane of traffic.

I’m now sitting white knuckled in the passenger seat.

“Demi! You can’t click on the right things this morning. Now, you almost got into three accidents. What is the deal?”

“Oh, I wasn’t worried about that last guy. He was on your side.”

OK – I totally deserved that. I’d been giving her all kinds crap all day. And I hadn’t brought up the issue she had with her cell phone not working yet – turns out it had been turned off. Seems that in turning your phone off, it doesn’t ring nor can you make any calls with it – weird, huh?

We rode along for a little bit, chit chatting. Despite the driving issues, I stayed in the car with her because hitch-hiking would have been more dangerous. At least if we got in an accident, my body would be found right away instead of rotting in a ditch for weeks after the hitch-hiker killed me. My family would have closure sooner. I’m a thinker, aren’t I?

Suddenly, Demi turned toward me. I thought, “Dude, keep your eyes on the road!”

“I know what my problem is! I can’t hear anything!”

WHAT?

What does hearing have to do with clicking the right button on the computer or not running into any cars?

“No, Demi. I think the issue today is just the your aura. But just to be safe, should we get you one of those ear horns?”

Silver Lining:

1. She has a good sense of humor and was laughing with me the entire time I was teasing her.


2. I found an ear horn/trumpet on Ebay for only $545.00 (or you could buy it now for $580.00).