Tuesday, August 4, 2009

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Demi-a?

You ever have one of those days? You know the kind. Nothing seems to go right.

I’m not having one of those days. I’m having a great day. I’ve laughed quite a bit in fact.

It’s my friend Demi who’s having one of those days. And gosh darn it, if it ain’t funny when it’s not you.

Let’s start with this morning.

I was running late so I don’t know if she had had any coffee. We get coffee together every morning and get our gab on before starting the day. But today was not one of those days.

Maybe that's what started the whole thing. She didn’t have any coffee, nor did she get the benefit of getting a preview of future blog posts. She doesn’t actually read my blog because I’ve already told her all the stories over coffee. Although, she could read it once and awhile and voice her opinion.

Let’s get back to her day.

So she comes down to my desk and rests her elbows on the ginormous stack of papers at the end of my desk.

“I have a problem. This spreadsheet worked last week, but now it doesn’t. I swear I’m doing the exact same thing.”

As per our routine, we hippity-hop down to her desk.

“See this number here [points a report on her desk], doesn’t match this number on the spreadsheet.”

I started looking at the reports.

“You ran the wrong report.”

She tried to log in to re-run the report, but clicked on the wrong website in her favorites.

Once we got to the right website, she clicked on the wrong button to run the report.

“What’s with you and the clicking? Or should I say mis-clicking?” I’m snickering at her expense, but at least she was snickering at herself.

Isn’t snicker a funny word? Seriously, where did this come from?

Were the people who invented the Snickers bar laughing when they came up with nougat, caramel, peanuts & chocolate? Nougat is a funny word too; maybe that’s what started the whole thing.

Fast forward to lunch time.

We head over to the Jack In The Box for our two free tacos (free taco Tuesday). That’s another post, for another time.

After a somewhat uneventful lunch, we’re heading over to the grocery store for a few things. I’m reading her my notes for yet another post (like I said we didn’t have the morning coffee – I gotta get her up to speed sometime), yet I’m the one who noticed she was about to pull out in front of another car.

Technically, she was making an illegal turn, but she blamed the other guy anyway. There was a median in front of us so she was going to make a quick left (against traffic) to jaunt around it so we could get to the grocery store. The guy hesitated for like an eighth of a second so she took that as the signal for her to go ahead with her illegal jaunt.

Fast forward to after the grocery store.

This time she almost backed into another car that was also backing up. That chick had the gall (another great word) to honk at us! She’s the one who floored it when backing out of her parking space.

Then, a guy almost t-boned us. Totally would have been his fault – he was the one entering our lane of traffic.

I’m now sitting white knuckled in the passenger seat.

“Demi! You can’t click on the right things this morning. Now, you almost got into three accidents. What is the deal?”

“Oh, I wasn’t worried about that last guy. He was on your side.”

OK – I totally deserved that. I’d been giving her all kinds crap all day. And I hadn’t brought up the issue she had with her cell phone not working yet – turns out it had been turned off. Seems that in turning your phone off, it doesn’t ring nor can you make any calls with it – weird, huh?

We rode along for a little bit, chit chatting. Despite the driving issues, I stayed in the car with her because hitch-hiking would have been more dangerous. At least if we got in an accident, my body would be found right away instead of rotting in a ditch for weeks after the hitch-hiker killed me. My family would have closure sooner. I’m a thinker, aren’t I?

Suddenly, Demi turned toward me. I thought, “Dude, keep your eyes on the road!”

“I know what my problem is! I can’t hear anything!”


What does hearing have to do with clicking the right button on the computer or not running into any cars?

“No, Demi. I think the issue today is just the your aura. But just to be safe, should we get you one of those ear horns?”

Silver Lining:

  1. She has a good sense of humor and was laughing with me the entire time I was teasing her.

  2. I found an ear horn/trumpet on Ebay for only $545.00 (or you could buy it now for $580.00).

21 People Laughed Along With Me, Won't You?:

Eli's Lids said...

Those days are the worst. The Lesson... always drink your coffee no matter how late you are!

Krystal said...

Must have coffee in the morning - it there is none - it is all down hill from there - i guess that explains why my weekends suck...lol

DirtRaceFan55 said...

OMG - I am not sure why this is so funny - 1. Because I know who Demi is and I can see it all happening as if I were there or 2. Because it is just flat out funny! Either way I will about this post for days to come. At least you and Demi made it back to work unscathed (spelling) huh! - Danny

DirtRaceFan55 said...

Insert the word LAUGH in my previous post between "I will" and "about"

Anti-Supermom said...

Hilarious stuff. You retold it all very well.

Coffee, yummy.

Tania @ Larger Family Life said...

I hate those days.

Tania (via SITS)


sense of humor is the key in this sometimes tough life I think...
Great week dear~

Mary K Brennan said...

Poor Demi. Let's make sure from now on she gets that cup of coffee. I think that would have changed the entire day. She may even have remembered to turn on her cell phone.
Thanks for visiting.

perpstu said...

Stopping by from SITS to say hi! I giggled at this because I have been on both side of "those days" too!

Ric Thompson said...

OK - I laughed so I'm obligated to comment. The car stuff with a friend is totally friendship. It's about the only time you can get away with a knock and not get guilted about being too critical =D

Mary said...

Coffee is definitely a necessary jump starter for MY brain.

Popping over from SITS roll call to say hello!

lov said...

oh goodness what a not good day! at least she has a good sense of humor!!

stopping by from sits!

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

I had one of those day yesterday!

I wish I would have had my friend with me making jokes and stuff :)

M. Stokes said...

I feel bad for her, but it is funny the way you tell it! Glad she has a sense of humor :)

T. said...

I have had many days like that too lol! Stopping by from SITS to say hello!

supah ~d said...

ding dong...

You should totally look on craigs for that ear monstrosity. totally. I bet you could find it for like.. 300 bucks or something... then you could spend the leftover moolah on .. coffee and black books and stuff. Or maybe extra seatbelts. A padded suit. A helmet.

:) Just sayin.

Thanks for dropping by!

anymommy said...

The best kind of friend has a fabulous sense of humor.

CC said...

I'd totally blame the lack of coffee.

FranticMommy said...

I call days like that "being off half a click". I can't walk straight, I stutter, and that's usually the day I have two different socks on too. I feel Demi's pain. :)

Lamonica Epps said...

Your friend was really having a bad day. At least you were both able to laugh about it.

Stopping by from SITS

Sara said...

Who doesn't have that day? What makes it worse is when a good chunk of it IS your fault. Ugh, that was my whole weekend.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to suck something fierce at this adulthood mess, but it should be very entertaining for others to watch.

Tell Demi to hang in there and to blame others. That's what I do.

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