You Know You're An Idiot A Split Second After It's Too Late

You volunteer once and do a good job, guess who gets asked to do something. That’s right, it’s you!

Last month I made some fantabulous “Good Student Awards”. After three Mike’s Hard Lemonades each, my friend Kitty and I hauled out the bucket of crayons and colored really pretty like. They looked kind of like this (but they all had different color combinations).


Cupie said they needed glitter. So I used the glitter glue I had at home and piped it on the edges and the words. Of course, I used up all my glitter glue.

Since they were so sparkly & pretty, I got a request to make more awards. I still didn’t have any glitter so I hiked my butt down to the craft store.

Glitter glue is expensive!

I figured the Elmer’s at home and the regular, sprinkly kind of glitter would do the job. I bought eight jars that had a shaker top.

Wouldn’t you know it, I spent just as much as I would have on the glitter glue. At least the sprinkly kind will last longer.

A shaker top is cool, but you have pop out the tab do-dad. I thought I’d just push on them.

Like opening parmesan cheese.

They were so small they didn’t stay open very well so I had to open the jars and actually pull the tab off. I was able to tear most of them out. The red and multi-colored tabs were an issue.

I needed to perforate the edges somehow. I didn’t want to use a knife because jabbing it at the laminate counter top in order to pierce the tab edge would result in open jars of glitter, but a nicked up counter. Not a good idea. I needed something a little duller.

There were fondue forks in the silverware drawer. The two prongs were pretty close together and they had a rounded end.

Perfect!

The multi-colored jar was pierced as planned and I pulled the tab out.

The red jar was the first one I tried to open by just pushing in the tab – the one where I discovered the tab doesn’t stay open so well. There was only the long edge to perforate.

Because one side had already been pushed in, it kept folding in every time I tried to jam the fondue fork into the edge.

I concluded I wasn’t able to achieve the right angle by pushing down toward the counter so I picked up the lid with my left hand.

I pushed the fork with my right hand.

Planned event: Perforating the tab edge. SUCCESS!

Unplanned event: Perforating the palm of my left hand. SUCCESS!


Silver Lining:

1. I did finish the awards. I just clenched a paper towel in my left hand while doing it.


2. Thank goodness I had nixed the knife idea.


3. My awards are better than the other mom’s awards – she only colors them all one color and uses only one color glitter