Got Wood?

So, Sissy & I drove all the way up to Wisconsin last week (hence the week-long absence) to help Mom get her house ready to sell.

There was much to do - stain a fence, spread mulch, clean a garage, move large stuff into the garage, paint a bedroom, general staging, etc.

All this cleaning/moving resulted in several pieces of wood. Mom pulled out the trusty saw and saw horses, cut them up into manageable, carriable pieces. Since it was trash day and the trash truck hadn't been by, we hauled them to the curb.

Not the curb at the end of the driveway mind you. No, they had to be hauled to the end of the block, and she lives on the "loooooooooong" side of the block. Mom's street was tore up for complete re-paving. (Yeah, we totally had to haul all our luggage and what-not that far too.)

After two or three trips, it was all down there, kind of hanging into the street a bit. Definitely taking up a preemo parking space right at the corner.

We worked all day in the 90 degree heat, cleaned ourselves up and headed out for the evening.

We walked aaaaaallllllll the way down to the car.

The trash was gone.

The recycling was gone.

The wood was not gone.

We left anyway.

When we got back - around 9:30 - the wood was still sitting there. Not even the rubbish scavengers were interested.

We made our way aaaaaallllll the way back to the house. After we got inside, my mom was just beside herself fidgeting.

We really should go get that wood. It's taking up a space where someone could park. I don't want anyone getting upset at me.

[Eye roll]

Mom, I don't think anyone knows you left the wood down there. We can just go get it tomorrow if it's still there.

No, someone might know I put it down there. And there isn't a lot of parking. And I'm just not going to sleep tonight knowing . . .

[Eye roll]

I looked outside.

It was dark.

No one was around.

No one was going to see us going down to get the wood. No one would know my mother left the wood down there if we went and got it tonight. If we waited until morning, we would definitely be seen and anyone who may have gotten upset about the wood taking up a perfectly good parking space would know it was her. Blah, blah, blah.

[Sigh]

Fine, let's go get it.

There was a lot of wood so we decided to take the wheelbarrow to haul it back. My mom's house is over 60 years old and I swear so is the wheelbarrow we were using. It very well could be, it used to be my grandfather's and he died almost 20 years ago. So it creaks and groans even when it's empty.

Every bump in the sidewalk (and there are many because it may also be 60 years old) makes the wheelbarrow jump. When it lands it makes that "thunder" noise. You know the sound, the one every kid loves to make it by shaking a found piece of sheet metal. It's friggin' loud!

Here we are, in the cloak of darkness, taking the wheelbarrow aaaaaalllllll the way down to the corner to pick up the wood.

Gah-gong.

Gah-gong.

Gah-gong.

For crying out loud. Get out the metal trashcan lids, pots and pans and some wooden spoons. We could have had an old fashioned parade! The neighbors would be thrilled!

So much for going quietly.

As we approached the end of the street, I noticed a beacon of light showing us the way.

No it wasn't the moon.

It was a street light.

Shining right down on the pile of wood.

So much for our cloak of darkness too.

Silver Lining:

1. On the way back, because there was some weight in the wheelbarrow, it didn't make as much noise.


2. We only had to make two trips to get all the wood back to the house. Since the wheelbarrow was so noisy, I didn't even bother taking the wood out, I just dumped it (with a loud clatter) into a pile on the driveway.


3. We are only aware of one neighbor witnessing our "stealthiness" - they just happened to get home later than we did, like while we were retrieving our contraband wood.


4. Mom's house was in pretty good shape when we left. Hopefully, she'll have the house sold and be moved down near us by Halloween.

Don't You Hate It When . . .

. . .your day has been filled with "Don't You Hate It When . . ." moments?

. . .you make up a pot of coffee, painstakingly clean a travel mug that you retrieved from the trunk of your car after three weeks, & drain the last drop of milk into the mug (so it's cool enough to guzzle), then, dash out the door only to realize half way to work that you left your coffee on the kitchen counter?

. . .the shirt you really wanted to wear was too wrinkled for Downy Wrinkle Releaser to get the wrinkles out. Heaven forbid, the ironing board get hauled out. Jeez, do you know how many piles of laundry I have to climb in order to do that?!?

. . .the air conditioner is not functioning properly at work and it's 90 degrees outside? Or it is functioning on overdrive when it's only 70 degrees outside?

. . .your child whines about having to brush her hair before her teeth? As long as you don't mix up the brushes, what does it matter?

. . .it's trash day, you're late for work, and you've forgotten to take the trash down to the end of the driveway? And did I mention the trash can is overflowing because the same thing happened last week? Our garage is in the back of the house which we access with an alley. We park in the front of our house because we don't have room in the garage to park the cars. As a result, I don't notice all the other trash cans until I've gone down the street and happen to glance down one of the alleys.

. . .people try to stuff ten pounds of trash into a five pound bag? This is totally a case of the pot calling the kettle black, but I hate it when this happens none the less.

. . .the dishwasher is empty, but there are a TON of dishes in the sink?

. . .the dishwasher light says that it's "clean", but there are hardly any dishes inside? Because the family has been "harvesting" dishes as needed instead of actually emptying the dishwasher.

. . .your back scratcher has gone missing and all you can find to use is a toilet brush? This wasn't actually me, but I saw a guy with crazy hair and missing teeth using a toilet brush as a back scratcher on Tosh.O last week. Why would you do such a thing? And video tape it? And put it out there for others to see? Ewwwwwwwwwwww!

. . .when it looks like there is enough toilet paper on the roll, but there really isn't? And another roll isn't handy because your bathroom is out of toilet paper because everyone uses it, even though there is a bathroom especially decorated all princess-like for the little princesses in your house. Of course that bathroom has a gazillion rolls of toilet paper in it. If only it weren't around two corners & down the hall.

. . .you have to do laundry? Enough said.

. . .you get busted for blogging at work? Hasn't actually happened yet, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

. . .you just can't ignore that little envelope at the bottom corner of your screen? You know it. It's the one that says, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL! Don't try to ignore me because I'm bright yellow, and I'll just sit here until you check your e-mail. Oh, yeah - I MOCK YOU!"

. . .it's only X:XX time? No matter what, it's ONLY not close enough to the time you want it to be - coffee break time, lunch time, meeting end time, time to go home, kids' bedtime, summer time. I could go on and on and on and on.

. . .you have to come up with something positive about a crummy day?

Silver Lining:

1. That was yesterday and today is a new day. I actually got a good parking space even though I got to work a little on the late side. Whomever had that space and had to leave probably thought, "I hate it when I have a good parking space and then have to give it up early." I say, "Nah-nah, nah-nah, boo, boo."


2. This is all in perfect timing for Random Tuesday Thoughts. Go visit Keely and the gang at www.theunmom.com for more randomness. Or click the pretty purple button up at the top of the page.