Friday, July 10, 2009

Good Grief!

What a morning!

What’s the first thing you do when you get to work?

Beside quickly flipping on the lights, radio & signing in to my computer, I need COFFEE!!!

So, I pick up my cup (the kind with a lid) and head over to the mini kitchen to make my poor man’s Starbuck’s cup of coffee. But first I need to clean out my cup. This is a morning ritual because I just don’t get to it the day before.

I pull off the lid and scrub everything up real well. Then, I grab some paper towels to dry it all off. Even the inside, which I know doesn’t make sense because I’m just going to pour coffee in it.

I proceed to add six sugar substitutes (Splenda is preferred, but work is too cheap), an entire packet of sugar free hot cocoa, powdered creamer (not measured by any means, just pour for a second or two), and finally the coffee goes in. If I’m lucky, my friend Demi will have saved a bit of her cereal milk to top it off. I don’t know what this combo would be called or what it would cost at Starbuck’s, but I get it free at work. HA, HA all you Starbuck’s suckers!

I went to put the lid on the cup and it set in the top way to easily. The little rubber ring was missing!!! You know, that ring that prevents the beverage from dribbling down your shirt.

Crap, what happened to it?

I looked at the floor – nothing but a bunch of paper towel scraps. How hard is it to pick those up people? Never mind the fact that I didn’t pick them up either – I was too busy stressing over the missing rubber ring.

I looked in the sink – not there. Sweat was starting to form on my brow.

Was it in the disposal [Cue the Psycho stabbing scene music]?

I used a plastic knife to push back the black thingy that prevents the food from flying out when you start it up.

Ewwww! There were pieces of chicken in there!

If I was sticking my hand in there, I had to know exactly where the rubber ring was. I needed a flashlight. Fortunately, being the stuff queen, there was one in my purse.

Rush to the desk.

Rush to the mini kitchen.

Rushing was good for the moment because the wind dried up that sweaty brow.

Me and my handy-dandy knife inspected the disposal using the flashlight. Geez, those things are wide. I couldn’t see all the way to the edges. I needed a wider view.

I started to pull the black thingy up, but the underside was covered in slime! ABORT! ABORT!

After washing my hands I looked despairingly around the kitchen. It’s got to be some place else and thought to myself, “Please oh please Magic Rubber Ring Fairy, make it appear. Make it rise up like the Great Pumpkin. To be sure I’ll see it, have the Hallelujah Choir sing loud and proud so I can turn in the right direction.”

Guess what? There is no Magic Rubber Ring Fairy. Dammit!

Dejected, I made my way back to my desk. I figured I’d drink the coffee without a lid and pray to God I didn’t tip the cup over. With the state of my desk, finding a secure place to set it down was a challenge. Not only did it have to be a place where it was unlikely to be tipped over, but it also had to be convenient. I can’t be turning around (I have a U-shaped cube) and reaching way over to the back of my desk for my coffee.

The optimist in me started laughing at the whole situation and I decided to write this blog entry. I had gotten three lines in (right up to the picking up the cup part), and [Bing!] a light bulb went off.

It had to be in the trash. I hadn’t been sitting here very long and I had mostly been the only person in the mini kitchen during this saga so it should be near the top right?


In the five minutes I had left the kitchen, someone had come in and made a new pot of coffee. I had to dig past the coffee filter & grounds plus all the paper towels I had used in my garbage disposal quest.

Woot! Woot! There it was!!!

I washed that baby, got it on my lid and guzzled the coffee. Now, I need another cup. I just may skip back to the mini kitchen.

Silver Lining:

1. Duh, I found the ring!

2. There were powdered donettes – five seemed like a good consolation prize for my efforts.

3. I managed to accomplish all this activity without an ounce of caffeine in my body. That’s a major feat. My boss doesn’t even ask me to do things without making sure I’ve had a cup of coffee first – he knows better. That’s what makes him so great. I might just get him a card for Boss’s Day this year.

8 People Laughed Along With Me, Won't You?:

The Mom said...

AND, you really get PAID for all this work!!!!!! Only you could make a great story out of a cup of coffee.

Talk about jump starting your morning:):):):) I've had some of those myself............

DirtRaceFan55 said...

M- great way to start your day! I agree "we" do have a great boss. Have a good weekend! - Danny

The Mom said...

I just had to respond one more time because I like the word verification you have to type in to send a message - it's "yteday"
(you know - why to day?)

Love you.........

The Laughing Idiot said...

I interpret that as "Yettie Day", like there is some celebration for a non-existent creature. I wonder if we're supposed to wear all our furs in order to commemorate the day . . .

Ha! Ha! - my word verification is "berge"

Kerrie said...

Thanks for your visit to my blog. The first thing I do in our office is moan, turn the computer on, moan and then make tea and eat a chocolate bar.
I wish there were all sorts of fairies wouldn't that be great. I especially wished there was one that filled up the stapler when some other bugger uses all the staples and doesn't bother.
I loved this post. I laughed alot xx

luvmyboys said...

What a great story! You're too funny!

Thanks for visiting my blog!

anymommy said...

Powdered doughnuts make up for a lot. And why isn't there a rubber ring fairy? There should be! That line cracked me up.

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

Did you get any work done in the morning?

Super funny :)

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