Friday, October 30, 2009

Fifth Dear So & So Letters

Dear So and So...

It's Friday!

I've got a few things I need to get off my chest so I can have a good weekend. So I've written a few letters. I think you may enjoy some of my moments of misery, confusion, and dingy-ness.

Dear George,

Could you consistently lean back a bit when you poop? I know you have the ability to clear the perches as evidenced with the three piles of poop rising like volcanoes from the floor of your cage. I really don't like cleaning poop encrusted perches.

Grossed Out,
Your Birdie Mommy

Dear Padded Bra Makers,

Why do you make padded bras for children? Don't deny it. I saw them in the little girl underwear section at Wal-Mart!

Do twelve or thirteen year-olds really need padded bras? They grow up fast enough! You don't need to push that process by making their chests bigger than they really are.

Feeling A Little Ranty,

Dear Self,

When trying to drill into a wall that has duct work in it, make sure the drill bit is turning the right way. If the bit is turning to the left, it will not penetrate the duct work. Going to the left only helps you remove screws.

Hee, hee. The left = loose screws.

Just an FYI for next time. You know, so you don't have look like an idiot when Hubby has to come over and help you.

DIY Dingy,

Dear Mother Nature,

Did you really have to choose the moment I ran out to the garage to start a deluge of rain?

I was only going to run out and run back in. I was expecting to come inside with a few rain drops in my hair, not as a sopping mess with no towel in sight.

I know I've written you a letter at least one other time about the weather, and I never got a response. That's poor customer service. Maybe I should just take over for the Pleasantville area.


Dear Self (again),

Don't wear Crocs in the rain. You will slip & fall on a smooth surface. Such as a garage floor.

A Little Ache-y,

There are others out there who share my thoughts - I'm sure of it. Why don't we all head over to Kat's place to see who else is writing letters this week?

Silver Lining:
  1. George has a sparkly clean cage. I cleaned EVERYTHING! He was so confused when I was all done (because I rearranged the "furniture") that he almost didn't want to get back in.

  2. After Hubby drilled a little hole for me, he didn't even tease me about the drill. I knew there was a reason I keep him around. XOXOXO to Hubby.

  3. Apparently, I'll live after my little rain run. I eventually dried out. And my arm doesn't really hurt from the fall anymore

10 People Laughed Along With Me, Won't You?:

Alix said...

Hi Pollyanna!

I'm new to your blog but wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your Dear So and So's. Thank god George is a bird. I was getting a little nervous there...

Alix at Casa Hice

Corrie Howe said...

I love the letters too. Gee, I can't think of which one I liked the most. I'm thinking about a letter to my 7 year old daughter about putting her stickers everywhere. The Mickey Mouse stickers on the T.P. holder may show up in my blog in the next week. :-)

Big Mama Cass said...

HAHAHA Why does Mother Nature always play that game!?!? And better yet, why are Crocs so dang slippery??

plainolebob said...

Polly, man when Bess does that drill trick, I end up doin the whole damn project, mother nature has a bite.

Captain Dumbass said...

Mother Nature has a cruel sense of humour.

Sue (Someone's Mom) said...

Love the letters, although the first one made me really glad I don't have a bird.


Chelsie said...

Just remember Righty tighty Lefty loosey. It always helps me when My husband is off saving the world and I need to get something done.

Brit in Bosnia / Fraught Mummy said...

I love Dear So and So - always makes me smile. And I am with you on the poor customer service from Mother Nature... I'm always asking her to do stuff and she never listens to a word I say!

Ug said...

I'm a new follower. Great blog. I think your padded bra rant hooked me... :)


Kat said...

Ok so when I was a kid we had these zebra finches. The only birds I have ever seen that could poop ABOVE the cage!

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