Say What?

The grocery store. The first place you think of for an earful of entertainment, right?

Probably not, but you should. You don't have to stand still long to overhear some unusual conversations. Next time you're at the store, pretend to be comparing two brands of tofu and you might overhear this:

(Woman, with two shopping carts and three kids, on the phone)

Hey, girl! So they've got Creamy JIF, Crunchy JIF, Skippy, Peter Pan, generic, and some all natural stuff. If he's allergic to peanuts, what kind of peanut butter can he have?

Say What?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Try not to fall to the floor laughing at this! You might crack your skull on the hard cement floor. If you crack your skull open, your brains will fall out (I actually tell my kids this). Then, you'll ask stupid questions like this woman all the time.

Not surprisingly, this same woman was overheard in the check out line displaying an equally amazing level of brain power.

Let me set the scene:

Two carts of groceries (including several cases of soda) have been unloaded and rung up. There are three smallish children and a guy standing around waiting for Peanut Butter Ding-bat Lady (PBDB for short).

According to the cashier, the total is $437. PBDB runs her food stamps card. There's only $400 on the card so she is left with a balance of $37.

The guy suggests she use her child support card. Didn't know they had cards for this now, but I guess it makes sense. That way you can make sure you use the child support money the way you're supposed to - ON THE CHILDREN - right?

Nooooo, no, no, no, no, no. Duh, that would be to obvious.

PBDB: I can't use that. That's just my beer & cigarette money.

Say What?!?!?!?!?!?!?

But wait, it gets better!

The guy ponies up the $37.

As a thank you, PBDB says: Next time we're at the store, I'll buy you a couple of extra cases of beer to make up for this.

Say What?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Since the child support card is her ciggies & beer money, how is it any different? Either she uses it now to buy the groceries or she uses it later to buy his beer.

Silver Lining:

1. I don't really know because I don't think there have been any studies on this yet, but I hope she represents a small number of food stamps and child support recipients. There are several stereotypes out there, and PBDB just enforces the bad ones.

2. While my children may go to therapy when they are older and discuss at length the many ways I screwed them up, I know in my heart of hearts I did my best. I don't think PBDB could say the same.