News

In my mind, "News" means that something is basically NEW information. Information that isn't necessarily common knowledge.

Based on my "official" source (dictionary.com), I'd say I'm right on track with this definition.

news   /nuz, nyuz/ –noun ( usually used with a singular verb )

1. a report of a recent event; intelligence; information.


2. the presentation of a report on recent or new events in a newspaper or other periodical or on radio or television.


3. such reports taken collectively; information reported.


4. a person, thing, or event considered as a choice subject for journalistic treatment; newsworthy material. Compare copy ( def. 5 ).


5. newspaper.


6. newscast.

So I'd like to know who thought it was newsworthy to report this:


Really?

Voters Unhappy?

Only the people living under a rock are going to say, "Holy Cr@p! I'm going into shock! How can this be?"

Voters have been unhappy for well over a year now. This is in no way, shape or form NEWS!

Silver Lining:

1. You all should be pleased this is as far as Pollyanna is willing to step into politics. I'd have to put on my witch Halloween costume year round otherwise.


2. I haven't been living under a rock (or a cave) and I occassionally take off the rose colored glasses so I didn't die of a heart attack when I read that headline. You all will be graced with my pressence and or oddball stories for awhile longer :)

Things I Don't Get

• Why do women do the front of their hair and not the back? Like when they pull their hair back in a ponytail or a banana clip, but pull out enough of the sides to still curl and frame their face.



• Banana clips.



• Little girls wearing clothes more appropriate for today's teenagers. Not that teenagers always wear appropriate clothing, but still I should see a seven year old in short, short skirts and shirts that are little too short. And sometimes make up??



• Candles littering the house. Really? I know they smell good, but wouldn't one or two be enough? The collect dust in my house and they're a pain to clean. I've got those fake on my dining room sconces - the ones with a battery to light them up. They have a partially melted look and they flicker - cool, huh?



• Those pop-ups on Foxnews.com or MSN.com. The kind where you barely mouse over a word and they bring up addition information, but usually unrelated to the article. If I want to know more information, I'll click on it! At the very least, it should wait until I've paused on it for a couple of seconds. Geez.



• In Farmville, you can't rotate the buildings.



• In Farmville, you don't get to keep your own mystery eggs or the animals that wander onto your farm. They're your gosh darn chickens, you should be able to keep at least one! And if an animal wanders onto my farm, I think the "Finders, Keepers" rule should apply.



• Mafia Wars.



• Democrats.



• People who feel the need to have the make of their car across the top of their windsheild. Dude, I can see that you drive a Subaru.



• Pink hair. Or purple. Or blaze orange.



• My daughter having a week off of school for quarter break and another week off for Easter break. She's off this week and again the first or second week of April. WTF??? That costs me a lot of money when it comes to daycare.



• Building a new elementary school and only sending K-2 to it and leaving 3-5 in the old school. You'd think they would just divide the school district. I know a lot of parents who are being forced to pick up their kids at two different schools, 12 miles apart, that get out at the same time. All the schools are currently on the same campus surrounded by corn fields. Buying additional land for another school building from the farmer wasn't an option?



• People who don't delete the forwarding e-mail junk before the real message. Especially when it's a joke - I'm bored before I get there and then it isn't as funny.



• Junk e-mail.



• Spam.



• Ballpoint pens that ooze.



• Why people still buy and use regular pencils when mechanical ones are so much more efficient. Who wants to walk all the way to a pencil sharpener? Or hunt around for one? Or empty it when it's full of shavings - those carbon shavings can make a mess similar to when toner gets out of the container on the copier or printer.



• People who don't replenish paper in the copier or printer.



• People who walk away from a jam in the copier or printer.



• People who regularly send 300 page documents to the printer in the middle of the day. Wait until early morning or late afternoon people!



• Bloggers who don't post anything for two weeks. Oops, that's me. Sorry.

Well, I guess this post would be better suited for Random Tuesday Thoughts, but I don't get these things today. Tomorrow it may be all better, and therefore, not as timely. So there you go.

Silver Lining:

1. I'm sure I have readers out there who can explain these things to me so I get them.


2. There are lots of things I do get. Like why my kids are so smart and so stinkin' cute (not that I'm biased or anything), how Mary Kay is the best skin care routine for the best value, cars need gas to run, you have to work instead of blogging in order to keep your job, etc.

A Call From Oprah

Mornings.

When Cupie first started school we were organized. We were ready to go early and got to the bus stop in plenty of time (we only live one house from the corner so it’s not that far a trek).

We’re a month into school and we’ve become total slackers.

She almost missed the bus one day. I just happened to open the door and saw the bus pulling away from the stop. The bus driver was gracious enough to stop in front of our house, but I could read her mind (it’s a gift and a curse) and knew we shouldn’t pull that stunt too often.

This morning, the bus was going to arrive at any minute when we realized she didn’t have her “balloon” money. It’s spirit week meaning Homecoming and the Fall Festival were being held this coming weekend. While in separate buildings, the elementary, middle & high school are all on the same campus so Homecoming celebration type stuff filters all the way down to the elementary school.

Anyway, you can send balloons to different students & faculty members for $.50 (what ever happened to the cent key on the keyboard?) each. They had different colors for love, friendship, sunshine of my life, secret admirer, etc. And she was sending balloons to some friends, her teacher, and babysitters. She doesn’t know it, but I ordered two balloons for her too (Love & Sunshine of my life) – I didn’t want her to feel left out :)

It was okay. I figured I’d just run the money up to the school and get on to work.

But first I needed the teacher’s name for my friend Barbie’s daughter. Called her up (even though she’s right around the corner) and got the information. Turns out, she forgot to send Tessy’s balloon money too.

Sure, I’ll take Tessy’s money up there for you.

I was really hoping she had a reason to go up to the school so I could just go to work.

I cruised around the corner. In my car (walking is highly over rated). I left the engine on, knocked on the door once and walked in. Barbie handed me the money and I could have walked out the door at that moment, but did I?

Nope.

Barbie and I are natural chit-chatters. Took me half an hour to go around the corner and pick up an envelope before I was on my way to the school. Did I mention I left the engine running?

Oops.

Let me just say, the school campus is not on my way to work and is out in the sticks.

Literally.

It is surrounded by cornfields on three sides and there is a farm across the street.

It’s 15 minutes one way as long as there aren’t any tractors in front of you.

And there was.

I got to the school just fine, but it took me at least 25 minutes to get back to the turn off to my house.

Not a car or a tractor in site on my way there. On the way back, while behind the tractor there was either a curve or a car coming on a straightaway.

I had to stop for gas. Remember, I left the car running earlier. I never get gas before the light comes on and during all that piddly-fartin' around behind the tractor the light came on.

Stopped to get gas. This would have been uneventful if I hadn’t gotten coffee.

I promptly spilled that on my pants upon getting in the car.

I finally got to work at 10.

A morning like that just leaves you all out of sorts for the entire day. You need a nap in order to re-set things. Unfortunately, my office doesn’t allow that :(

However, it’s a good thing I didn’t give up on the day and leave early.

Oprah called this afternoon!

Well, not Oprah. And it was an e-mail, but it came from her “people” – how cool is that?

Message *
Hi Pollyanna,

I hope you don't mind my reaching out to you -- I'm a producer at The Oprah Winfrey show and we're working on an upcoming show that you may be interested in participating in.

I read the below message you posted on the savvysassymoms website .. that's how I found you. Please give me a call at your earliest convenience (my contact info is below) or let me know when a good time to reach you might be and I will fill you in on what we are working on!

Pollyanna August 27, 2009 at 12:25 pm
I knew from day one that I was not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I work and it’s my eight hours of sanity
I love my girls with all my heart, but I don’t have the patience to play Barbie all day or interest in coming up with all three meals AND snacks every single day.
For these reasons and more, I fully respect the stay at home mom. Some people are better at it than others.
Regardless, the best moms recognize their limitations, admit their failures and celebrate their successes.

I talked to one of Oprah’s producers about being a mom and how I felt about my kids. Too bad I’m not a raving lunatic otherwise I would have been perfect for the show they were working on. Actually, they didn’t tell me what the show was about, but what ever I said didn’t fit the profile they were looking for.

Good news, the gal really liked what I had to say and she was making notes on me.

Who knows, maybe Oprah will want to do a show about mommies who are optimistic fabric searchers some day. COOL!

Silver Lining:

1. Oprah’s people called me! The fact that I caught their attention floors me.


2. Oprah’s people called me! (Yes, I wrote that twice. It’s not a typo. It’s just that cool.)

Say What?

The grocery store. The first place you think of for an earful of entertainment, right?

Probably not, but you should. You don't have to stand still long to overhear some unusual conversations. Next time you're at the store, pretend to be comparing two brands of tofu and you might overhear this:

(Woman, with two shopping carts and three kids, on the phone)

Hey, girl! So they've got Creamy JIF, Crunchy JIF, Skippy, Peter Pan, generic, and some all natural stuff. If he's allergic to peanuts, what kind of peanut butter can he have?

Say What?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Try not to fall to the floor laughing at this! You might crack your skull on the hard cement floor. If you crack your skull open, your brains will fall out (I actually tell my kids this). Then, you'll ask stupid questions like this woman all the time.

Not surprisingly, this same woman was overheard in the check out line displaying an equally amazing level of brain power.

Let me set the scene:

Two carts of groceries (including several cases of soda) have been unloaded and rung up. There are three smallish children and a guy standing around waiting for Peanut Butter Ding-bat Lady (PBDB for short).

According to the cashier, the total is $437. PBDB runs her food stamps card. There's only $400 on the card so she is left with a balance of $37.

The guy suggests she use her child support card. Didn't know they had cards for this now, but I guess it makes sense. That way you can make sure you use the child support money the way you're supposed to - ON THE CHILDREN - right?

Nooooo, no, no, no, no, no. Duh, that would be to obvious.

PBDB: I can't use that. That's just my beer & cigarette money.

Say What?!?!?!?!?!?!?

But wait, it gets better!

The guy ponies up the $37.

As a thank you, PBDB says: Next time we're at the store, I'll buy you a couple of extra cases of beer to make up for this.

Say What?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Since the child support card is her ciggies & beer money, how is it any different? Either she uses it now to buy the groceries or she uses it later to buy his beer.

Silver Lining:

1. I don't really know because I don't think there have been any studies on this yet, but I hope she represents a small number of food stamps and child support recipients. There are several stereotypes out there, and PBDB just enforces the bad ones.

2. While my children may go to therapy when they are older and discuss at length the many ways I screwed them up, I know in my heart of hearts I did my best. I don't think PBDB could say the same.